Hello. It's me.

See what I’m wearing? Chest plate of The Burning Scourge. Shin guards of All To Frost. Shoulders are Decorated Phoenix and NOTHING else, you know why? Cuz the damn cowardly knave in the Decorated Phoenix armor set CLAIMED the whole fit was a women’s 6. You know what’s NOT a women’s 6? A damn chest plate I could swim in. A foe could Iron Maiden me through the arm holes with an arrow 100 feet off. Had to pawn the fucking thing for change. A Phoenix Set.

And some of us are stupider. Petrichor looted The Harness of Hermes off some dead sod and the damn things were 2 sizes too small for his feet. I said “Petrichor your mother named you for wet mud, don’t prove you have the mental faculties to match” not that he listened. Bled his heels off every second mission wearing those. “Why should I care of the ills of man’s feet when I can walk as Hermes on the clouds?” Because it burns 0.1 mana per full wing’ed stride and Pet never had more than half a decent man’s mana. He walked more than he ever “strode the air.” Died of gangrene 6 months later. You guessed it! Foot infection. I wouldn’t be so mad but Pet was our only archer and we lost 2 good soldiers to ranged attacks a month later.