Chronically Tired

avengers doomsday trailer is so fucking embarrassing bro it's like watching an aging celebrity try to relive their greatest hits

it's so rote now... ooooh here's 72 actors you recognize making shocked faces at a greenscreen. ominous narration to let you know that this is definitely the scariest thing we've ever had to fight. we wheeled Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan out of the retirement home to fag it up again. are you entertained. are you reaching for your wallets yet.

I've never seen anything more soulless in my life tbh. I've never wanted to see a movie crash and burn more. let it be dead so marvel studios can get on with being a spirit halloween already.

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

Fun fact: for some reason men that compare themselves to golden retrievers on hinge do NOT like being told “bark for me dog”

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink

"learn your queer history" I am from fucking INDIA

this post never fails to make me crave gummy orange slices

"you could just eat normal clementine slices?" NO! I want to eat ROCKS!