Merry Crisis

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

this could work. we never tried it

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

i need to get into cars

they have doors which help with this

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

gay

compelling argument

what does this say about victor hugo

no he was just french

R.R Tolkien?

autistic infodumping

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

Imagining a scene is free. Writing it costs my entire lifespan

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”