Literally just hanging out and vibing weeeee

Is making a lot of incredibly shitty, possibly bad or outright horrifying mistakes actually a viable survival strategy in life? Maybe even a wise one?

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

Go Birds

Go Birds

my fitbit just buzzed that im in the zone and i cannot express this enough ,i am literally sitting down eating a cupcake. what zone is this

to make this funnier it was my second cupcake😭😭

gastric is the mysterious undertales character who speaks only in dingalings

The speedrun technique where you pass through his realm to sequence break is called a "gastric bypass"

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

I’m not perfect, but I do have a “green tea” and “jasmine” side.

Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.

m&s = the british aisles