*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

there’s an idea~

IKEA, please no, I’m just here for the meatballs

: )

Wh-what’s in these meatballs?

UwU

yall ever think about how back in the tens people used to ship rumpelstiltskin with belle from beauty and the beast on once upon a time. it was like a whole thing. reylo for disney adults

didn't they get together though

Never gonna forgive Disney for making people think Alice had a good time at that tea party

got fired from being the entertainer at a bachelor party for twisting the groom-to-be's dick into a poodle shape

if you love someone enough you should be able to hug them really tight and pop into the same body as them and never have to leave like its aristophanes's myth of the spherical human

post cancelled i just reinvented steven universe

i wish there was more social existence you could participate in laying down. I wish there were cafes that were two little futon beds parallel to each other with a low table in between so you could eat and drink while lounging. I wish there were group activities like painting or glazing clay or theaters that were designed to have beds and bed-height tables instead of chairs. I wish there were beds alongside benches outside for anyone to use. I wish air mattresses or roll-out beds were as common as cheap shitty chairs at things like barbeques, beaches, and concerts. so much life would open up to me and be enjoyable if I could lay down instead of sitting or standing for prolonged periods and completely wearing myself down with pain.

we should all bring back ancient roman and greek dining I swear

no-dopamine baddies approaching every single list of tasks like "which of these things will cause the most amount of personal suffering to me if left undone"

This addition is so important.