Mode Kotova

"I had a dream about them, and no it wasn’t a sexual one. I was laying in bed with them in a room in some sort of apartment and there was like a party going on outside in the living room but the door was closed so everything was muffled, I remember laying there and talking to them about things I can’t remember, we talked for like hours and at some point I remember sitting up and she told me something that shattered my heart, I can’t remember what they said but I remember feeling so sad by it, then I woke up and still felt really sad about what they said to me, I wonder what it was. This isn’t the first time they’ve shown up in my dreams, it used to be a lot more sexual but then the dreams turned more emotionally charged, it turned from looking and feeling their body to talking and simply being there with them, experiencing a new memory, kinda like experiencing a memory that wasn’t mine. I hate that I can not think about them for hours or even 2-3 days at a time, yet whenever someone talks to me about feelings of affection or love, my mind automatically wanders to them, what could’ve been or what I wanted to be. But I know I’m too late in entering their life, and they probably would be a lot happier in their current relationship, even if they tell me they fell for me, even if they still look at my story’s and like them despite their boyfriend being against it, even so I still think about them and a part of me still feels jealous that it isn’t me, like I could make them happier and I could be the one they love, but I shouldn’t think that way, feelings pass eventually I’m sure. I’m sorry. " - Anonymous

Submitted 11/22/24, 1:22 AM

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