DO YOU KNOW A SONG ABOUT VELOCIRAPTORS? @ohthecalamity - Tumblr Blog

If you have a pillowfort I do too (ohthecalamity)

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shipsandtea

Do you wanna play mermaids? Yay. Okay so my tail is light blue and I have ice powers. And I live in the Arctic sea and watch British sailors die horrible deaths while trying to find the Northwest Passage.

great-and-small

Yeah that place is good but it’s always soooooo crowded

fembutchboygirl

The ADHD urge to not

fembutchboygirl

To just not

fembutchboygirl

I have several overdue assignments

grimalditeuthis

cats are so naturally skilled at Writhing In Sunbeam. i wish i had even a fraction of this talent but instead i just have all these bones

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generic-internet-name

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

generic-internet-name

you can't get out that way!

generic-internet-name

that's not very helpful.

generic-internet-name

maybe the open window will help.

generic-internet-name

try the open window instead.

pettycentral

glumshoe

I’m glad that Indiana finally has its first national park and that it’s the one mostly known for having sand dunes that eat children.

pishposh-haberdash

how, pray tell, does a dune eat A Child

glumshoe

Imagine that you’re a big pile of sand by the shore of Lake Michigan, between Gary and Michigan City. Your name is Mount Baldy, and you’re a popular tourist destination at what is now Indiana Dunes National Park.

For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.

As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.

In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?

One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.

The current leading geological theory as to how this happened is that the organic material you engulf, like trees, slowly decompose beneath your slopes, leaving behind unstable voids held together only by the fragile remains of the decayed material. When these voids are walked over, they collapse, forming sudden sinkholes that can swallow visitors whole. The rules that typically govern stationary dunes, or wandering dunes in areas that are not forested, no longer apply to you. You are unpredictable and dangerous and have remained closed to visitors except on guided hikes ever since.

thisisabitofme

Did that really need to be in second person and fuck me up like that? No. But I’m not mad.

glumshoe

in retrospect I have no idea what possessed me to write this in second person

anyway devil’s stovepipes/decomp chimneys are cool as shit

#the blob (1958)#i need to write like this holy shit #love how this was done and LOVE devils stovepipes

clunchwarp-supreme

look at the excitement in his body language

lesbianbreadwhore

diet culture is so evil like. an older woman friend said to me (in response to me saying my gf isn't really into chocolate) "i WISH i didn't like chocolate" like. do you wish you didn't have skin to feel a summer breeze. do you wish you didn't have eyes to see the sunrise

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str-ngeloop

it's called the whether because it depends

idionymon

Wish I was a late bronze age girl

I would have my homeland invaded by the sea peoples. I would be lain siege to by the sea peoples. My cities would be sacked by the sea peoples. I would make bronze tools and pottery. My shores would be invaded by the mysterious sea peoples. I would be mustering my armies to fend off the sea peoples.

screaming-weevil

fictionalgod

byjove

there is a 4,000 year old lichen somewhere out there that has no clue any of this is going on

commandtower-solring-go

My desktop wallpaper cycles between these two images so every 10 minutes I am overwhelmed by the loss of my horse or overcome by the fear of its return.

#this made me snort so hard i teared up

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

edderkopper

Today I learned that cuttlefish experience REM sleep, and that it makes their skin flash random colors. This is the cutest thing ever.

blackbearmagic

The electric eel at my aquarium has a voltmeter attached to his tank, and whenever he pumps out a burst of electricity–either when he’s navigating his tank or getting fed–the meter lights up and makes noise. Sometimes, I’ll walk past him when he’s snuggled up and totally motionless on his log, and see the voltmeter going crazy.

I am left to assume that he is dreaming, and is sleep-zapping at the things in his dreams.

arachnospooky

I am absolutely delighted to learn that electric eels dream of kicking ass.

targuzzler-deactivated20180224

anthonycolonthree

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

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DO YOU KNOW A SONG ABOUT VELOCIRAPTORS?