DO YOU KNOW A SONG ABOUT VELOCIRAPTORS?

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

smash or pass a gentle summer rainstorm

smash to smithereens brother

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

@recoveredviolinist you've seen this right? I can't live in a world where you haven't seen this

found a video meant to be totally epic called "DUELLING CANNIBAL SEA SNAILS" and it's clearly just two molluscs on a beach having some good ol' slow-paced snail sex

oh to be a sea snail having snail sex in the sand. imagine...... my full body wrapped in another snail's salt-slime embrace. going at it veeeery slowly ...... eyestalks bumping together and retracting, bumping and retracting ....... getting suddenly catapaulted down the beach by a big wave . oh my. oh. o h. my. oh what a beautiful world this would be

american blackbirds are icterids but european blackbirds are thrushes but american robins are thrushes but european robins are flycatchers and they are named robin because (checks notes) brits in the 1400s called them "robert" on account of they are just some familiar guy who shows up in your yard. hold on post canceled is that really why they are called that? what the fuck. they did this with jackdaws and magpies too? i can't even be annoyed. how human. "who's that? that's bob." fuck dude it sure is.