WATCH OUT I'M AN ALIEN!11!!

Oh boy am I pissed off about having to participate in capitalist America

Ive got an idea

Mr Arson bestie, I'm excited to hear it

Bond girls are out. Blanc girls (underprivileged women who screw over rich assholes with the help of this silly detective) are in.

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you

i’m not butch but i believe in their beliefs

i truly love all the beautiful sentiments expressed on this post. i made it after reversing my stick shift car very fast down the alley

this is the funniest fucking graffiti I’ve ever seen

being annoyed and feeling evil and having to talk yourself down like easy there girl you’re alright

“Plans for the evening”

[image description: a brown tabby cat rests its head on the edge of a table. The cat has its eyes closed. A glass mug filled with liquid and an orange slice sits in front of the cat, under a very bright ceiling lamp. end description.]

Today I learned that cuttlefish experience REM sleep, and that it makes their skin flash random colors. This is the cutest thing ever.

I am absolutely delighted to learn that electric eels dream of kicking ass.

im neither an alive girl nor a dead girl but rather a secret third thing

It’s funny to me that I’ve met people named Grace, Faith, Patience and Chastity. It is so funny that Puritan names have survived so long and are still so popular if you take a step back and think about it. She’s getting Starbucks today and accusing a townsperson of witchcraft tomorrow.

Thats the name of an ex-fundamentalist kinky gay if ever I heard one

kinky evil former Puritan vampire

i found out i had a quaker cousin from the 1600s named Wrestling. as in, from the torah, Jacob’s wrestling with an angel. She also had a brother named Repentance and one of her sisters was named Fear.

no grease for you, little beepo. im sorry, but its for your own good

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing