🍎riley tobiscuit🍎

when im at the " nobody's trying to GET you and nobody's hiding anything from you " intervention and the people giving the intervention are my actively hiding information from you friend, trying to traumatize me in different and innovative ways boss , trying to kill you monster who replaced my friend and also the future love of my life

and if these fajitas DONT come out sizzling there will be hell to pay

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.

This also applies if you’re online and just don’t want to or have the energy to deal with humans in the moment. Just because we have the ability to reply in real time does not mean we have the obligation.

im like a cat i drag the posts to ur doorstep and if ur not there it’s ok, the post will be on ur porch for later