am genuinely jus here for a laff x

this post has more people in my inbox defending working for lockheed martin than you'd expect

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

my controversial opinion is I don’t think Zuko was confused by “my first girlfriend turned into the moon”

he was there during siege of the North. he infiltrated the spirit oasis. he has an uncle who studies spirits and the spirit world. he watched the sky go dark then the moon suddenly reappear like everyone else in the entire world did. and most importantly he watched zhao get eaten by a giant godzilla fish spirit.

his entire life since he saw that beam of blue-white light in the south pole has been ‘this day has already been so goddamn weird’

The only really new information was that that was Sokka’s girlfriend

Also, Iroh was there? He literally watched Sokka make out with the moon spirit. And you want to tell me that a romantic sap like him would not have immediately told Zuko about this romantic tragedy? Please, Zuko has known about this for ages, he just knows that this is not an acceptable situation in which to say “yeah, I know.”

[image: tags by samwisethebold: #it’s not that he doesn’t get what sokka means #it’s that how on earth do you respond to that]

When you put it like that, this is actually a legendary display of tact on Zuko’s part

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great

Happy horse on mars day

one thing i will say for Sports as a source of human drama is that it's possible to be literally one of the best human beings in the ENTIRE WORLD at [thing] and still be Eternal Second Best

if i were jonas vingegaard they would have to name a new mental illness after me

imagine. you're a Cycling Guy. that's your job. you are literally one of the best in the whole world. you've won the tour de france twice, and only like fifteen guys ever have done that. and everyone who has ever even heard of you knows you as the guy who is just not quite as good as another guy

this dude won the tour twice but he has come second behind tadej pogacar four times. and it's gonna happen again this year. vingegaard's first tour win literally only happened because pogacar got in a crash. pogacar's about to take his fifth tour win, and five is the most tours anyone has ever won except lance armstrong lol. and vingegaard is behind him, in second. as always. if i were pogacar i would have someone tasting my food

also in the tour de france, the guy who is Currently Winning gets to wear a special jersey. the yellow jersey. but also the tour de france has multiple winner jerseys for different things. obviously the guy who is overall winning wears the yellow jersey, but there are other things to compete for. including the polka dotted jersey, which is for king of the mountains, i.e. the guy who climbs up each of the mountains fastest. and the polka dotted jersey is coveted it's like the second most important after yellow. but it is less important than yellow. which means that if, say, you are entitled to wear both the yellow jersey and the polka dotted jersey. you wear the yellow jersey. and the polka dotted jersey goes to the guy in second place for king of the mountains. which means that right now, tadej pogacar, who is currently both overall winner and king of the mountains, is racing in yellow. and jonas vingegaard is wearing tadej pogacar's cast off polka dots. because he is also in second place for king of the mountains

just put my joint out on the open mind of a child searing it and instantly destroying his ability to dream or imagine. sad but i don't care

supporting his lower back and neck so he can sit up like a newborn baby

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

I hope everyone loses the world cup and then the universe explodes

on twitter this got a bunch of responses like “wow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?” and like well no obviously not in that case.

“shoutout to everybody from new jersey!” “even the new jersey serial killers…?”

my high horse is actually awesome and fast like the wind