between some time and eternity

watch this (does a

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

little baby… i’m taking u home with me

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

if you washed any clothes recently this is a friendly reminder to put them on the chair and then on the bed and then on the chair and then on the bed and then on the chair and then

I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly