(*/ω＼)♡

ⓘ Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

are they... you know...? *makes a stabbing motion*

while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade

who is laios

This guy has what I want

got my new boyfriend from Ikea. Unfortunately he’s made of particle board and with a single thrust of my hips I broke him into five pieces

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

none of us are making those appointments huh

This is why I have Calls Day once a month

wait you might be onto something with that actually

I hope I'm not just a mutual to you, but someone you want to bring up in irl conversation so you have to awkwardly and cryptically say "my friend..." and refuse to elaborate on my origins or the origins of our friendships

In a last ditch attempt to save your people, you offer your life to an ancient god of war and blood. Unfortunately, your translation of the ancient text was a bit off. You're married now.

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

we need more divorcebaiting. how strongly can canon imply (without technically outright stating) that these two characters are bitterly, acrimoniously divorced? essential we explore this

the fuck is going on with optimus prime?