My Fucking God! These Bitches Gay! Good For Them!

crazy how if you do your chores and obligations first thing on a day off you can enjoy your free time more than if you feel like you’re procrastinating your chores and obligations the whole time. i will not be learning from this experience

i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?

i think they're called catholics

don’t date. a sports team can also let you down for the rest of your life and doesn’t move into your house.

Oh to be a 26 year old, rich, freshly single, bisexual world driver's champion, living the party boy life, slutting it up in expensive clubs or on yachts, clinging to and flirting with everything that moves 😔😔

“i’m going through something” and it’s the incredible need to impregnate a man

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"