I can't find that post about abusive behavior going around but I think it's important to stress that with 1 in 4 women experiencing sexual abuse, it isn't right to say "most people" won't experience deliberate abuse. when we hurt someone with our words or actions out of selfishness or other desires, we can often not understand the pact that has on others and how they experience that as abuse. except in terms of consent and sexual violence. men prove over and over again in studies that they understand consent. they simply do not care. they know it hurts. they don't care.
I totally understand that sexual abuse isn't even a focus in the original post, but it's a hugely glaring omission that makes the rest of the post feel misleading and gives way too much grace to predators.
if you choose to commit an act of sexual violence, you know you did that. men understand their actions as abusive. they are not ignorant or uneducated. they don't see women as people.
we've also seen how men hide their abuse from public knowledge, how therapists can deconstruct the idea of 'i couldn't stop myself from hitting her' by asking , so why didn't you kick her or kill her and seeing their cold, obvious logic.
I just don't think now is the time for a nuanced take on abuse. it's like going to a lecture on rewilding plants while the forest outside is literally on fire
idk maybe I'm chopped.
