poop

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

sorry for being intense about everything, it’ll happen again

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

“potentially mature content” yeah that’s my pervert friend i hope it’s mature content that’s what i followed them for

one of my favorite tropes in chinese literature is when a guy’s wife is clearly a ghost/demon/fox fairy and he just can’t see it. i’m reading a story where this guy keeps getting arrested because his wife will just magically steal steal shit out of sealed boxes and give it to him as a present, and whenever someone is like dude i think something’s up with his wife he asks her and she’s like i’m literally normal. so he turns around and says yeah guys she’s literally normal

btw it is sexy and cool to uplift and admire people who have skills you wish you had without using their ability as a stick to beat yourself with. even and especially if you are jealous of them.

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

happy pride month to this post specifically

we’re the only animals that know what will happen later in the day

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

Quick what are you doing RIGHT now (besides scrolling Tumblr)