Fresh From The Bottom Of The Bag

i was born in a wet paper bag and my mom needed to put me in the toaster oven to make me crispy enough 2 survive

I JUST REALIZED I HAVE AN ENTIRE TUBE OF PRINGLES OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

something just happened to half of it

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

go back to sleep puppy *holds chlorophyll over your face*

haha yay! *starts making sugars*

i love this post and always reblog it because it reminds me of a game i used to play in the bath tub as a child which was called “plant sugars” and the premise was that i was a plant organism and i had to produce starches to store in my tuber

black mackerel tabby with high white spotting, red mackerel tabby with moderate white spotting, red mackerel tabby

What about the two at the bottom?

cab 👍🦀

love the suggestion that Noah would have had crabs on the ark. like if everything flooded I think they would be fine actually

Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

Reblonk

Rebonk

rebonk

desired you while the women flee

World Heritage Post

has anyone else noticed they still havent invented a pocket dimension where time stands still where one can go to sort their shit out? so you just have to either try in this go go go ass world to find the time, or die unresolved? just something i've noticed.

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.

wands are like the smartphone of the wizard world, a slimmed and streamlined spellcasting apparatus of the modern era that has many slightly older wizards going "ugh kids these days don't know what it's like to have the sturdy weight of a Staff in your hands at all times. sure its not as portable but at least i can still use it to beat a motherfucker when im out of mana."

there are gen Z spellcasters trying to lead a wizard staff revival but they're all made out of cheap wood and crystals they bought on tiktok live and at least one has splintered and exploded on their user. meanwhile grandpa is in the back like "in MY day we had to memorize all our runes and draw them out of thin air backwards in the pouring rain 5 times a day"

and wizards who use scrolls and tomes to cast their spells? linux users.

got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes