courage;

Alright, so clearly you do. What’s uh, what’s so great about him?

Yeah? I miss you too, believe it or not. 

I just have a strong admiration to good people, and he is good people. 

Damn. You’re getting a ‘lil defensive. You sure you don’t care about him?

Yeah, no problem. I’ll always have love for you, yanno. Our kids are really fucking cool.

What? No. Of course not. 

Well damn, you got his private cell number now or something? But, yeah, no, I’ll come. Hope you don’t care that I stink.

Uh, yeah. Actually. He’s seen the babies since they were born, so I don’t know what to tell you besides that he just cares about them. But, yeah, no. I don’t care. As long as you’re not puking on me too. 

Yeah. I gotta shower. Can you wait ‘til I’m done before you go? You know, I noticed her forehead felt a little warm last night when I put ‘em to bed, but I just figured she was hot ‘cause of those thick ass Christmas pajamas you had ‘em in. I didn’t know Dr. Sam had weekend appointments, or is she seeing Dr. Levy? 

–Huh? I’m in the middle of a set. What do you want?

I just came in to tell you that Layla’s sick and I’m taking her to the pediatrician... Can you watch the other two while I’m gone?

Noa was used to the weird looks she got from strangers in public and the odd comments she got online. She was far from perfect, but a lot of people thought she was. In reality, she wasn’t. She was flawed. She didn’t love herself all of the time, and she wasn’t as made-up as she appeared to be online. In fact, most days, her hair was up in a bun, her face was bare, and her under eye bags were as prominent as the sun. Her favorite outfit was a sweat suit from Target, and lately, she hadn’t been wearing a bra about 90% of the week. However, she had just turned twenty, and her children were three years old and all three potty trained in the same week (with special thanks to Aubree and Taylor). All this to say, when Noa took the babies to the doctor, she always got the worst of the worst looks. So as she pulled into the parking lot, her stomach churned. 

Another thing she got dirty looks from was her car. Noa had a 2021 Telluride, and she was able to buy it completely on her own. She was so excited about her purchase, but she had outgrown her first car within the first year of getting it--all thanks to the three little people who sat in a row in the back. She pulled into the reserved parking spots for large families, towards the front of the lot. The kids were good when getting out of the car too. Noa had them trained. Collie and Layla got out first, and they knew they needed to stand on the white line with their hand on the car. Maverick got out of the car last since he didn’t listen as well as the girls did. 

That day, Layla and Collie both had their hair in pony tails at the back of their heads, the ends naturally curling. Maverick’s hair was curly too that day. His hair really depended on the day. To walk through the parking lot, Noa held Maverick’s hand in her left and Layla’s hand in her right and Collie held Layla’s other hand. 

Collie was the tallest of the three, the sassiest of the three, and the loudest of the three. Her hair was turning so, so red, and Noa had no idea where it came from. Casey had mentioned she was looking a lot like Ruthie, the only sister to the three West brothers. 

Layla, in Noa’s opinion, looked the most like Isaiah. Dark hair. Bright eyes. Pale skin. She acted suspiciously similar too. A little bit timid. Quiet. Easy to anger, though, but so, so extremely loving. Noa’s heart grew and grew and grew for her, but sometimes it ached for who Isaiah used to be. She reminded her so much fo him. 

Maverick, though. Ooh, boy. Maverick was all Dawson. His skin had yellow undertones. His blonde hair and blue eyes made him look like a twin for Colin, Noa’s older brother. He was all boy. Loved trucks, dirt, bugs, animals, superheros... you name it. But he was the most sensitive of the three. Easy to startle. Easy to cry. Not whiny, but still emotional. He was a total Momma’s boy too. 

The three of them loved their dad. They loved Isaiah. They loved Brooklyn. They loved Noa. But Maverick would choose Noa a thousand times over. No bribe, no toy, no snack could get Maverick to be anywhere but next to Noa. That boy shined for his mom, and Noa ate it up. He cuddled her a little longer in the morning before joining his sisters to play, and when they got picked up from daycare, he was the first one in her arms. If he got hurt, he’d cry for Noa. If he got scared, he’d cry for Noa. If he had a snack to share, he offered it to Noa. It wasn’t that the girls weren’t as obsessed with Noa as Maverick was, but there was just something about his momma that brought Mav back every time. And it wasn’t that Noa didn’t love her girls--she was absolutely obsessed with them--but there was something about Mav that brought Noa back every time. 

Collie got to push the elevator buttons going up, Layla got to push the elevator buttons going down, and Maverick got to push the switch for the handicap doors to open (not that they really needed to use them). Once they got into the waiting room, Collie stripped her jacket off and went straight to the lego table they had in the waiting room while Layla and Maverick stuck close to mom. There were a few other people in the waiting room with their kids. A mom with a daughter, about eight or nine. A dad with his son, about fourteen or fifteen. A couple with their young son and what appeared to be a newborn. 

“Hey there Miss Noa,” the receptionist chirped. The staff at the doctor loved Noa and the triplets, and they were always so excited to see them. 

“Hey Miss Bethany,” Noa smiled, getting the three kids signed in on the tablet in front of her. “Just coming in for our three year check-up.” Layla was whining to be held, so Noa scooped her up. She immediately hid her head in Noa’s neck. “Oh, shoot. I typed Mav’s name in wrong.”

“No worries, Noa. I see you have Collie and Layla signed in, I can get Mr. Mav for you,” Bethany said. Noa thanked her and found a seat near Collie. Maverick and Collie played at the lego table and Layla sat with Noa. And as they waited for their names to be called, she looked around the waiting room. 

The dad with his teenage son kept glancing at her. The mom with her newborn couldn’t quite tell what was happening. Noa was so young and had three very well-behaved children at the doctor (though Maverick had started singing the Bumblebee song he learned at daycare quite loudly). It always made her uncomfortable. 

“Momma, I don’t want any owies,” Layla said while in Noa’s lap. Layla was the most well-spoken. She was just so eloquent and articulated so well. Noa kissed the top of her head and rocked her a little bit. 

“Well, I don’t know if we will, but Doctor Sam always gives you a sticker! Maybe there will be unicorn stickers this time.” Noa said. Meanwhile, Maverick started shouting the bumblebee song, and Collie started throwing legos. Noa got up and went to Collie, picked her up, picked up the legos, and then sat her down in a chair. “Legos are not meant to be thrown, and if you can’t play with them correctly, we aren’t going to play with them at all.” Then she told Maverick to stop singing and that there were other people there trying to see the doctor. Then Collie started crying and Layla got scared and started crying, and because poor little Maverick was so sensitive, he started crying too. So now, her three well-behaved three-year-olds were all crying and just like clockwork, Layla had an accident. They had gone nearly four weeks without an accident, and of course it had to be at the doctor’s office. 

Now, everyone was looking at Noa with judgmental eyes. The mom of the older child made some remark about how Noa had her hands full and that it was “really brave to take kids to the doctor without their parents.” That was when Noa lost it. 

“You know what, I’m not sitting here judging you and your parenting. Your kid doesn’t even have a coat on, and it’s freezing outside. I carried and birthed these three as a teenager, so I would really appreciate a little respect for giving up my childhood to raise my family, and I’m doing a damn good job of it.” Noa retorted, searching her book bag for a change of clothes for the brunette daughter that was now screaming at her feet.

“The West triplets for Doctor Sam,” one of the nurses said at the door. 

Noa threw her bag over her shoulder, scooped up her wet child and made the other two follow. They were put into a room where Bluey was playing on the TV. She got Layla changed, snacks in each of their hands, and she was able to sit down and breathe for the first time all morning. And when Doctor Sam did finally come in, Noa burst into tears herself. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this.” Noa cried. “I have just gotten no break, and the older they get, the busier we are, the crazier things are, the more chaotic everything is and I’m just one person.”

The thing about Doctor Sam was that hew as a good looking man. Twenty-nine and had been seeing the triplets since he was fresh out of med school at 26. And boy was he pretty! Doctor Sam sat on the rolling stool and put a hand on Noa’s knee as she talked and cried and Maverick came over and put his head on her to hug her. She held him right back, and Doctor Sam never moved his hand from her knee as she vented about Isaiah and Colin and how lonely having been a teen mom was. How it still was lonely. Doctor Sam, only supposed to have seen the triplets for about thirty minutes, stayed in the medical exam room for an hour. Between listening to Noa, checking up on the kiddos. Everything with them was looking great, and unfortunately, they did need to get a couple of owies. Doctor Sam and his team of nurses were always so good to the kids while they got shots. Maverick picked a racecar sticker. Layla got her unicorn sticker. And Collie opted for the Paw Patrol sticker. 

“Thank you for being so good to them,” Noa said. “And for being so good to me. You really didn’t have to listen to all of that. I have a therapist, I swear.”

“I can’t see the triplets anymore.”

What a bombshell. 

“Excuse me?” Noa felt tears rise again. Doctor Sam had always been so good to them. She was stupid to vent to him all that time. She was stupid to even say anything to him. She should’ve kept her shit together. 

“In complete honesty, I have found myself extremely attracted to you in this last year, and I believe it’s now becoming a conflict of interest. And I’m sorry.” Doctor Sam was reamining cool, calm, and collected, but Noa was freaking out. 

“I don’t know what to say...”

“That’s alright. You don’t have to say anything. I can get you a referral to a new pediatrician, someone who is just as good if not better than I am.”

Noa’s stomach had sunk. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She nodded, thanks him again, and got the referral from the desk. Bethany gave her a weird look as she left. And after she let Layla push the buttons for the elevator and Maverick push the buttons for the door and all three back to being buckled in their carseats, she checked her phone. 

A text from Brooklyn. 

A text from Isaiah.

A missed facetime from Bryce. 

Three snapchats from Aubree. 

A new request on Instagram from one Doctor Sam Lloyd. 

Holy shit, she thought. 

Accept. 

Follow back.

You guys have been through Hell and back. It’ll probably take you a little time to start feeling super close to him again. Or, maybe he’s not the one. But, he’s a great guy to fill the time with. –I hope that’s not shallow of me to say. I just meant he really cares for you and the trips.

If it ever leads you back there, I can always help you edit. I’ve been kinda into editing since Ms. Poluka’s video production class last semester.

Agh, it was hard at first, but I genuinely just try to not give a fuck. At the end of the day, you’re their parent. You’re the one putting them to sleep when the rest of the voices go away at night. So it’s your choices, and your life. And as long as they’re happy, healthy, fed and showered - you’re doing a damn good job. Doesn’t matter how you get there just as long as you do. 

You’re lucky. I bet that kind of love just radiates to the kids and the whole family. It sounds warm. You guys probably had family game nights, huh? Or at least family outings?

Girl. He won’t call us anything and I won’t call us anything. So it’s weird. I don’t know.

Facts. And as long as it was in the grass, it’d wash away with the rain anyway. No biggie. 

Ah, you’re onto something here. You’d really give a whole speech about me in front ‘a everyone?

You will, and you want to know why you will? ‘Cause none of us are going to let you do anything different. We got your back. He’s gonna be great. They’re all gonna be.