a mouse who is aprantly a "ninja"

Oh so you'd rather use eugenics on animals and abuse them instead? 🙄

i was about to get violent then i saw the handle im crying

Ya'll act like we didn't abandoned pigeons in the 1950's

please god let chatgpt die out like nfts did. With a fast and graceless fall into irrelevancy

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

This spell has a very low hit ratio, so we need a lot of us to do it.

[Image description: White text and s photo on a black background. The photo is a silhouette of a child watching a TV error screen. The text reads, in all caps “You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who is coming to save you?” /end ID]

My tiny baby cringefail fig tree has not died any of the three times I expected it to but it is, for some reason, trying to make TWO figs. I bought this thing for pocket change from Bunnings because it was dehydrated to death's door and when I went to plant it I found the most rootbound motherfucker I've ever bought and had to manually detangle what I can only describe as a root tornado, trying not to break anything important. It is barely clinging to life it is one handspan high it has ONE SINGULAR LEAF (the leaf is also not in great condition) and it is trying to make TWO figs. Maybe put your efforts into like. A second leaf.

reblog if you like this figtree like starting projects you have no hope of finishing instead of literally eating

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.

when you go back to daydreaming after having been interrupted and your brain does a previously on of your fantasy

When you go back to daydreaming after being startled into the real world and your brain has to search through the ‘recently closed’ tabs to remember what you were daydreaming about

ok mood

Being interrupted daydreaming and scanning through like when you lose your place in a book like “ok where was i”

Annoying that dairy products are demonized as Unnatural and Disgusting when it's actually kinda neat that humans figured out a way to fulfill omnivorous nutritional requirements without killing any animals (and populations historically dependent on dairy even evolved lactase persistence!). This is biopunk to me

A fruit is an OVARY that because SWOLLEN AND ENLARGED after PLANT GENITALS were rubbed in PLANT SPERM by a BUG

we have got to stop acting like we’re better than nature. we drink animal fluids and eat flesh and it’s gross because being alive is gross work and that’s so fine. we’re part of the ecosystem, and this “humans are a disease on earth we shouldn’t be interfering with animals at all” mindset that some people have is so oppositional to all the people who don’t live a first-world type life.

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

I too am having a bad time at the conference

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference

It's them. My Dysfunctioning Executives.