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— Anne Jamison (via pen-in-hand)
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@knaidelmaidel
“Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”
— Anne Jamison (via pen-in-hand)

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System wallpapers from Windows XP's RTM, Build 2600; Microsoft Co., August 24, 2001.
as per my last straw,
Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).
I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.
out of the tags with you
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed
This is legit and people don’t realize it.
“hey what are you doing?” “nothing” “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.”
I’m doing nothing. Actively. It’s important.
This is essential nothing I’m doing.

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PARENT: I got "rubber duck" for my child's "bath" and she loves it.
AUTISM RESPONSE: Rubber ducks and other rubber bath toys can accumulate mold on the inside because of small holes underneath where moisture becomes trapped. The mold often goes unnoticed because it's not visible from the outside.
CORRECT RESPONSE(?): That's nice, I am unaware of how mold could impact this situation.
do not taste plants if you don't know what they are
do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet
hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro
And today, we have this winner:
I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...
In comments, they continue:
and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:
So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!
YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER
my sister has apparently had to stop playing Skyrim because she stole every book in the game to stock her house so now her house is full of books to the point where it almost breaks the game and every time she tries to read one guards teleport into her home and arrest her
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451 (1953)
just had the thought “oh, i don’t think I’ve parked in this part of the grocery store lot! what an adventure”
#aginguserbase
— Bridging Traditions: Demystifying Differences Between Sephardic and Ashkenazic Jews

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…okay so what if the problem with the taomeba never happened on the way back home. What if the radiation never got onto the Blip-A. What if Rocky ended up back on Erid, and Grace made it back to Earth. What if they missed each other desperately forever.
What if Grace made a lopsided crochet Rocky and cuddled it every night.
What if Rocky couldn’t stop making xenonite puppets of his alien friend.
What if I made myself cry, what about that? Huh? What then?
So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.
And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.
So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:
Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:
And it’s all just delightful.
But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.
As Prince Fucking Humperdink.
https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI
Here ya go
In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid farts, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody
Eridians must be absolutely amazed that Grace can be woken up before his sleep cycle is finished. They take advantage of this and fit the biodome's bedroom with a remotely-triggered alarm system, so if something ever goes wrong with the life support systems while Grace is asleep, they can wake him up and have him move to safety. But, being that their sleep is more like a deep dormancy, they WAY overestimate what it takes to forcibly wake someone up.
The first time they have to use it (over something stupid like a tiny ammonia leak), Grace wakes up to like three different foghorns and a hundred camera flashes going off at once and is like HOLY GEEZ THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US
(eta if someone with art talent wants to make this a proper eridian welcoming committee comic please do!)
RIP Rocky’s project
Eridians must be absolutely amazed that Grace can be woken up before his sleep cycle is finished. They take advantage of this and fit the biodome's bedroom with a remotely-triggered alarm system, so if something ever goes wrong with the life support systems while Grace is asleep, they can wake him up and have him move to safety. But, being that their sleep is more like a deep dormancy, they WAY overestimate what it takes to forcibly wake someone up.
The first time they have to use it (over something stupid like a tiny ammonia leak), Grace wakes up to like three different foghorns and a hundred camera flashes going off at once and is like HOLY GEEZ THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US
(eta: check out the multiple wonderful arts of this made by cosmo-vostok, goodieprocter, scrambled-aegis, and couponsfortherapyplz! you all are awesome :D)
I spent almost an entire work shift drawing this tooth-rotting fluff
featuring the Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks

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I have been losing it all evening with the Eridian Welcoming Committee comics, so I decided to try my hand at one.
@justcakethanks thank you for the template and for the laughs!
There's a lot I like about chasidus but I'll never get over the anti-intellectualism that some of it has. Obviously not all chasidic groups are like this, but some of them really seem to oppose actual learning in favor of some kind of primal spirituality, or the popular framing in chasidic tales wherein an uneducated person has deeper devotion than the learned (e.g. the story of the boy playing a whistle in shul on Yom Kippur).
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