GET HYPE FOR HITBALL

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

#had to get a bunch of blood tests at Planned Parenthood and the lady said “you take pain so well”#And I was like flustered despite not really being into masochism at all#like c'mon that's scene dialog

utterly unerotically today the ultrasound tech told me "wow you have such a full bladder... thank you!"

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

That German shorthair pointer is sure pointing.

now now i know we hate pjackk but if were getting serious here it WAS a character sideblog run by a transfem & i genuinely have to assume thats why pjackk was banned in the first place. i hope we all know this is another case of staff nuking a popular transfem blogger & not just like "lol pjackk got killed because he sucks"

frankly its a little bit crazy that the character sideblog is getting more attention than milk5 who is the real human person who got all her blogs banned & reinstated & banned again within the day. we need to get a little bit serious i think

one time when i worked at a hotel i noticed that there was a reservation that day under the name Sweet Booty and me and my coworkers giggled about it. and then hours later some guy is trying to check in and we can’t find his reservation and he’s like “well my gf made the reservation, lemme call her” and he put her on speakerphone so she could read out the confirmation number and i was absolutely thrilled to ask “is it the reservation for Sweet Booty?”

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro