Summary for those who havenât read the links:
Sub drop is basically getting the endrophin high from sex and then crashing hard from it. You just had an amazing, intense experience, so why do you want to cry??? Why do you feel weird and empty and alone? Even if you donât get the outright crash, when the horniness fades, it catches up to you just how vulnerable youâve been, and itâs natural and common to feel a little lost and alone after that. Contrary to what the term implies, you donât need to be the submissive party to experience this. Note how much vanilla sex culture ridicules this (âcrying after sexâ jokes, etc.).
Aftercare is the antidote to sub drop, itâs the post-sex affirmation that things are good and you are safe and appreciated. Common forms include cuddling, ice cream, taking a warm shower together, wrapping yourself in your fuzziest softest bathrobe available and general relaxation together. Comfort and reassurance. Note how much vanilla sex culture condemns people as âneedyâ for wanting this kind of treatment, or for being upset that their partner just walks out on them after sex. (The people being condemned as âneedyâ are usually women, but I donât even want to think about how much men certainly need this comfort too but feel like they canât ask for it without being seen as un-masculine.)
This is what I mean when I say BDSMers and kinksters are the only ones who have this shit figured out. None of these things are actually exclusive to BDSM and kinky sex, vanilla sex for everyone would be SO MUCH BETTER if these things were part of universal sex ed.
gummygunk
germansingergirl
origamiaround
prguitarman
dededos
janainaart
