All Ur Bones R Belong To Me @necromancerb - Tumblr Blog

Women love me for my eerie nature and assortment of oddities.

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breathofmyown

It's really disappointing to see the stigma against necromancy crop up on this site, but I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised.

It's a common misconception among anti-necromancy societies that the skeletons working the fields and forming the armies when needed are terrible desecrations, the honored dead enslaved by vile masters, when this could be nothing further from the truth. Our people give their bodies over to this out of love for their families and community. Allowing their bodies to provide labor and security after they are gone so that those who live do not have to waste their years doing menial labor and throwing themselves away in violence, and instead can pursue a life they take joy in freed from the burdens of survival. And so when we grow old or ill we choose to have our bodies serve our community so that our children, and children's children can enjoy the freedom and security that we did.

During the Days of Remembrance the skeletons are brought in from the fields and factories, back to their family homes and we celebrate them by telling stories of their lives, enjoying their favorite foods, and spending time with the part of them they left behind out of love for us. It's a delightful sight seeing the skeletons adorned with handknit woolens, colorful paints, or glimmering candles when they return to their labor after the holiday.

twilightlondon

the amount of people who forget how to cast spells properly in order to aura farm in my class are INSANE. My classmate just got decapistrated by "Darganclompen's wrath of a thousand slices" because he sacrificed doing the little spin for AURAFARMING. I have to revive his dumbass for my school project, this I hate my stupid necromancer life.

feylambda

a necromancer visiting her witch friend for the afternoon

the witch drinking tea, dressed in elegant finery. the necromancer with a double espresso, clothes worn and covered in patches and pins

they chat and watch their toys play games, where the necromancer's poltergeist breaks trinkets and causes mess, giving the witch's doll more tasks to complete

the witch chuckles and says that she is glad that their toys can enrich each other. the necromancer smiles and agrees

"i like that you give them a chance to be themselves," says the necromancer, pointing to the witch's doll

"thanks!" says the witch. "i like that you let them find themselves even after it's too late."

hungry-skeleton

Master Grimbender's Necromancer dungeon reviews

Average rating: ⭐⭐⭐ 3/5

💎 Danethehero

⭐⭐ 2/5

Barely any loot, too many skeletons, final boss way too easy

🦇 Bat beast

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5

Many dark place to sleep... Many bug to eat.. Very good very good.. Wish bone people were more quiet.. 4 Star.

💀 Skeleton8448576

⭐ 1/5

Master Grimbender doesn't pay us and our provided weapons are insufficient. Cobwebs in my ribs all the time. Don't work here, serve a witch instead

Response from the owner

Rusty swords are the standard weapon for skeletons across all dungeons. If you had such an issue with your provided weapons you should have taken it up with the Necromancers Council

🕷️ Spider

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5

This place fucking rules I love crevices

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This is a call out post for all those fuckass bards and sorcerers that dare to besmirch the name of Necromancer by taking it for themselves. You aren’t fucking slick and you aren’t one of us.

Let me break this down for the people who don’t know. Lately, there’s been a surge of “Necromancer’s” in my local area lately, and the average Jane doesn’t see anything different from what I do because “they have skeleton servants too, Necromancer B! They must be!” WRONG!!!!!

Bards and sorcerers have this lame ass spell called Animate Objects. And unfortunately for the actual hard working necromancer community, they disrespect our precious bones by just animating skeletons for short durations of time. Already several new startups have taken skeleton jobs from my skeleton blue collar workers. How are they supposed to help enforce to the local community that I’m a good necromancer with ZERO evil schemes now????

And that’s not even the worst of it. I’ve heard from a fellow colleague in Fresno that a fucking ARTIFICER makes their homonculi look like skeletons! And the civilians don’t know the difference because the item that is their heart is just another bone.

It’s so stupid. Nobody knows the actual hard work we Necromancer’s put day and night into our craft. These fuckers are just moving down bones and calling it necromancy. Bah! They don’t feel the soul of the bones you are using, they don’t get a skeleton warrior with flair, or a minimum personality that doesn’t interfere(much) with the morally grey missions you send them on. I bet they don’t even polish the bones they are misusing. I bet they don’t even know they have to make sure to continue supplementing the bones they use with calcium lest they crack and break after several months of use. I’ve already filed several complains to the local bonesbureau, and I’m still waiting on their response.

#necromancerposting #wizardposting #wizard posting #necromancer posting #necromancy #necromancer

john-boneman-lich-lord

Yeah man, this wizard conference is such a drag. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "Hastened Networking" or something, and suddenly everyone in a 20 foot radius was holding a copy that dude's business card. Nobody even acknowledged the quality of his card, that's how common this is. I'm over here casting Handshake and level 2 Small Talk. I think I just heard "Power Word: Video Call" two groups over. I gotta get a new job.

mug-of-beans

“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”

No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.

wizard-council-bureaucrat

Everybody STOP having a crisis, it’s now tea time

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Pause all dread and catastrophe to have a cuppa and some cookies for the next 15-30 minutes

This is a wizard spell

dungeonmastersconsortium

yeah, sure, it was the "power of friendship" that defeated you, and not my super cool "mega bone explosions" spell that I worked really hard on, whatever idiot

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strawbebbynya

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

whitachi

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

I hate fighting Gen Z adventurers. Nothing is serious to them anymore. I’ll say some cool one liner like “oh how I love to hear you heroes whimper” and the paladin blushes and says “I can do more if you tell me to daddy~” which interrupts my mental fortitude and stops the fireball I was preparing. Like what the fuck

#necromancerposting #wizardposting #Wizard rant

oldinterneticons

realworldbuilding

found a gnome and took his hat off and he just had a smaller hat underneath??

necromancerb

Hmm, continue taking the hats off. Gnomes are deplorable little creatures and have done nothing to deserve such excellent craftsmanship like multiple hats.

#wizardposting #necromancerposting

jimkinnz

homunculus facts¡

how is a homunculus like a writing desk¿

numamazza

? both are leaned on whěn maester is drawing¿

gavamont

Ah crap, that wasn’t my ergonomic gel pad? My bad.

jimkinnz

truly you treat my cousin poorly' you monstrous man•

gavamont

And I’m supposed to believe that Ratazom treats you better?

jimkinnz

(⁠ ⁠´⁠◡﹏◡⁠`⁠)

gavamont

Sore subject. I’m sorry. If it helps, I’ll draw a comic of Ratazom as a stinky monster.

jimkinnz

any minute now' wizard boy•

gavamont

ratazom

THAT'S NOT A MONSTER!!!

gavamont

Yes it is, you can tell because it has YOUR FACE!

necromancerb

Guys guys why are we fighting? Just get some calming amulets and everything is all good in the end. Well maybe don’t write on your homunculus Gav that’s something an amulet can’t help. And Taz isn’t a stinky monster, we may have our differences but a fellow necromancer is a fellow necromancer after all

#necromancerposting #wizardposting

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They don’t tell you this but the strongest Necromancer’s have a degree in biomancy. Bones are organic at the end of the day and using necromancy to manipulate them can get you far, but only to a point.

#necromancerposting #wizardposting #necromancer posting #necromancy #biomancy

I haven’t gone to my evil classes for like the entirety of February. I’ve probably failed all of them but I’m too scared to check because this is supposed to be my last semester. My family will be disappointed in me and I’ll get chewed out like always. I can’t muster the energy to get out of bed aside from DoorDash and food and water. I do nothing but watch necromancer YouTube all day and ignore my homework. I hate that I know exactly what’s going wrong and I’m actively choosing to not fix it. I hate my absolute lack of control.

#tw necromancy rant #I’m definitely not using my gimmick account to complain about my irl issues no not at all #necromancerposting

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