creaming and scrying @bassiter2 - Tumblr Blog

i went on a date tonight with a guy who was genuinely as much of a Hater as i am about all the same things and we literally talked for hours on my bed primarily just criticizing things together. and it was beautiful

#AND I REALLY LIKE HIM!!!!!#literally not even mad that he cancelled the other day bc he made up for it by buying my dinner #and he works in the morning and he actually is sacrificing sleep to have stayed at my apartment as late as he did #personal

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sunburnt-brian

tuxankhamun

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

bester-jester

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

#that's what happened in gift of the magi right

innerchildabortionclinic

corporate guy who walks in & asks who's the most fertile shareholder at the table today

fuckboysecurityllc

interdimentional

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captain-price-returns

All time great.

cryptotheism

The term "book of the dead" doesnt really give you perspective to how big a lot of Egyptian funerary texts are.

Imhoteps book of the Dead is 64 feet long.

somethingusefulfromflorida

Okay, but a lot of books would be that long if you laid the pages out

nsomniacsdream

the average printed page is 6 inches wide. so if a book is 128 pages, its 64 ft long. I dont think I own a book with fewer than 128 pages.

cryptotheism

It's honestly not that impressive at all. Fuck Imhotep and his pathetic short book.

64mpg

i’m on onion rings right now

64mpg

get me my keys NOW

kaylmao

idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.

kaylmao

i truly do think that most people if confronted with it and pressed on it would agree. but it's comfortable to gain privileges from someone else's suffering, especially if you don't have to see that suffering directly.

itsjunetime

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

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gailynovelry

The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.

sandmandaddy69

rottytops

omtai

When you are brutally losing at chess implore your opponent to look inwards its called the little pony gambit

maliketh

gets dragon insurance for my car in case a dragon fucks my car

cyphir-spacerobot

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

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prohaloplayer-deactivated202601

I think that ancient peoples had trampolines and razor scooters but they were extremely reserved and somewhat shy about them

every new sexuality microlabel I see (99% of the time just trying to capture a particular preference of bisexuality) just makes me think honestly okay we get it you want SO bad to be credited in the lgbt wiki for coining a term and designing a flag that will, at its height, be used by 200 people worldwide (concentrated mainly in toronto), most of whom will have trouble even recognizing "their" flag when they do see it because it's so similar to a million other gradients-with-a-white-stripe

#ok to rb

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