does anyone else have a type of ocd where basically any time you ever try to imagine a future or alternate event, your brain sets the vibe as "it's gonna be bad. like don't get your hopes up one bit, it's gonna be bad. oh you want to imagine what it would be like if this good thing happened? well it just wouldn't. or if the good events happened, it would still be bad in vibe, somehow. it'll feel wrong in some way. there are a million ways that something could be bad and therefore it basically always will be. fuck you if you want something good ever"
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