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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@bassiter2

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ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.
and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post
DUDE GRINDR IS AWESOME
this girl ate only purple go-gurt for 10 years of her life and this is what happened.
Slurp on my ‘gurt.
Cause you know its purp.
Put me in the dirt.
Put me in a shirt.

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🦞
🕳
crawdad go in holes
woah.. do you know any other abilities of creatures
his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor
Gimme 1 margarita and I saw off my leg!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY
"SPRING VALLEY RAINBOW" (2010), MAMBA205
maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower
I didn't even know that was possible

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tomorrow is a new day and we’ll approach it together
I think I'm going to remember this phrase every time I cook for the next five years