i,m a homunculus' sir

A wizard that infuses their potions into chewing gum. The trick is, if they make a good batch of potion gums, it takes longer for the flavor and thus the effect to actually kick in. But if you get 3 seconds of pineapple flavor and then instant lightning resistance, it still leaves you wishing you had more pineapple flavor.

I'm out there making the magical equivalent of Fruit Stripe™

I mean, if it’s just 3 seconds of plain lemon flavor, I won’t miss it when it’s gone. But I would gladly forestall fire resistance if the cherry flavor is really good.

Oh. You actually have to use the wrapper temporary tattoo to fully unlock the spell

Honestly, that’s pretty good marketing incorporated into the product. I especially love the one with Jimkinnz on a skateboard.

I don't have time to do the tattoo!!! I'm being attacked by confetti elementals RIGHT NOW

Still got time to post🤨

if you don,t have time to put this on your body's don,t talk to me•

Just a point of clarification: When I say I was created in a vat by an evil wizard, what I mean is that an evil wizard created me. I don't mean that the vat I was created in was by an evil wizard, as in located in the vicinity of an evil wizard. I'm sure the vat was by the evil wizard during at least part of the process, but I'm also pretty sure the evil wizard wasn't standing next to the vat the whole time. He probably spent a lot of time while I was congealing or whatever off doing evil wizard things.

Guys, I think if I can kill or seal away 4 more musical wizards, I could end up being the headliner for the Shadow Wizard Money Gang charity concert to benefit knights with shitty vassal lords.

Can I ask why you edit most of these tracks on my side of the portal?

The conversion from mundane technology to magical realm technology isn’t kind to studio equipment. Last time I brought my beat sequencer to the magic realm, it came out the other side as a caged imp with a cowbell, but it immediately started chewing on the bars of the cage and trying to escape.

You and your imps 🙄

I’m a sucker for imp utilization, even if it is unethical, out of style, and largely problematic.

I was framed! Entrapment! It was actually @gavamont-clone-2 that said those things!

dude• you could literally just point out how he treats the other homunculi• he doesn,t have a leg to stand on•

w' honestly• i,ve been trying to get ratazom to install a gnome broth fountain in the lab for years•

watching this space

I keep a Ratazom clone sealed in a fire ruby in my kitchen. Easy way to boil water for a hot mug of sharkleberry fin.

Okay, forget I asked. Assume that I never want to hear about my clones again

What about @jimkinnz's clones? Did you want to hear about the dimension where jimkinnz is a three-hundred-foot monster that devours cities?

living the dream••••

w' honestly• i,ve been trying to get ratazom to install a gnome broth fountain in the lab for years•

watching this space

w' honestly• i,ve been trying to get ratazom to install a gnome broth fountain in the lab for years•

why thanks for asking' unky gavamont¡ you can simply use my code' „jimk1n22„ at checkout to receive an undisclosed discount on all orders above 3 tonnes¡

ewe weren’’t sposed to mention gav is related¡! now they knoooow he’’s a plant

ol uncle paracelsus is actually fine with nepotism•

why thanks for asking' unky gavamont¡ you can simply use my code' „jimk1n22„ at checkout to receive an undisclosed discount on all orders above 3 tonnes¡

Never give ice cream to the cops. He should have eaten them too

As if the cops would have the complex taste to appreciate mango with tajin. It’s about the sadism of it.

sometimes you don,t eat for the artistry• sometimes you eat to destroy•

Well if bongo wizard taught me anything, it’s that destruction can be artistic.

Never give ice cream to the cops. He should have eaten them too

As if the cops would have the complex taste to appreciate mango with tajin. It’s about the sadism of it.

sometimes you don,t eat for the artistry• sometimes you eat to destroy•

I mean, I could, but (a) I kind of don't want to ruin the washcloth, and (b) it tastes terrible

welp• guess you live there now•

I mean, I guess I can have another copy of me wring out the washcloth; that should get most of me out of it, and then washing the washcloth should get out the rest. Yeah, that means some of me is going to be lost down the sink drain, but, eh, won't be the first time.

i usually go down the sink drain whole• it is like my own private log flume ride•

I mean yeah the trip down the drain is fun I guess but the problem is I don't really have an easy way of coming back up. I'm not sure how many copies of me there must be living in the sewers by now.

ooh they could have a whole society down there¡ with giant sewer bats to ride into battle¡

I mean, I could, but (a) I kind of don't want to ruin the washcloth, and (b) it tastes terrible

welp• guess you live there now•

I mean, I guess I can have another copy of me wring out the washcloth; that should get most of me out of it, and then washing the washcloth should get out the rest. Yeah, that means some of me is going to be lost down the sink drain, but, eh, won't be the first time.

i usually go down the sink drain whole• it is like my own private log flume ride•

I mean, I could, but (a) I kind of don't want to ruin the washcloth, and (b) it tastes terrible

welp• guess you live there now•

headphones did die at the DOG PARK WHERE I TAKE MY HOMUNCULUS so im chillin on the weekend like usual