tmi doesn't exist to me. I love information

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

forgive me father for i have zoomed in on some images

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

Hello bisexual community

Begin killing

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied

Hey Jack Kerouac, I’m a transexual from the future. Great job with On The Road. Due to no fault of your own, you’ve knocked down a pretty weird set of dominoes just now. Would you like to hear about all the new types of pornography you inadvertently caused.

you won't believe the weather we've been getting [remembers to avoid giving away my location] the sky was turned to darkness and the moon to blood, and the stars fell from the heavens.

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can