11/5/2020. 10/13/2025.

I promise that you’ll never find another like me.

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.

10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.

11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.

12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.

15. My daughter will not interfere with the social, cultural, or technological development of other civilizations.

19. Do not get my daughter wet or feed her after midnight.

20. My daughter can only move forward, but she captures diagonally.

21. Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by my daughter.

22. My daughter is the mind-killer. She is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my daughter. I will permit her to pass over me and through me. And when she has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see her path. Where the daughter has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

23. If my daughter is bigger than your outstretched thumb, then you are within her blast radius.

Of course, what was supposed to be a short term service industry job before he lived for his art has bloomed into just being his life, and life as a poor artist is never as romantic as one imagines. While the cost of living of Bikini Bottom is low enough that even a frycook can be a homeowner, it's not quite so low that he can afford the luxuries he was used to growing up.

His view of the Working Class as the downtrodden masses were rather tattered by years of living between SpongeBob and Patrick, who were not so much temporarily oppressed intellectuals as they were, well, SpongeBob and Patrick.

Still, through thick and thin he's never gone back on his decision to leave the money behind. The great irony is that he is ignorant of his greatest achievement—his superiority to Squilliam isn't turning a bunch of randos into a functioning Marching Band or turning a burger joint into a fine dining establishment, it's having the strength of character to look at all the advantages Squilliam had and choose to leave it behind.