the first time shane lays a fertilized egg he carefully incubates it for the entire off season and proudly hatches a hockey puck

I feel like tumblr is giving me a skewed impression of what Heated Rivalry is about

what do u mean

Also, regardless of your feelings on human nature or anything, I think that a world where children can go to school without fearing being bombed from an ocean away is a world worth aspiring to and worth fighting for. Okay we might never abolish war because the inherent human nature or whatever mighty idealism you have. We could at least try to stop these wars, though?

Again. Everybody get more anti war right now.

Shane in any pet store staring longingly at the cat trees and sighing every few minutes. Ilya is very deliberately Not Looking and trying to get Anya to pick out a toy because if he watches the way Shane runs his hands over a scratching post with his face all mopey then he knows he’s going to cave and drive straight to the nearest shelter

One day they go in to buy dog food for Anya and they have cats available for adoption. Shane makes eye contact with the smallest black cat he’s ever seen in his life and moves towards her like he’s being drawn in by a magnet. Ilya is marching behind him like ‘nono Hollander. We are here for ANYA. Remember? Dog?’ But Shane isn’t listening because this little black fuzzball has started arching her back and hissing like she’s an auditioning to be a Halloween decoration and Shane is looking at her like she’s the only thing in the entire world and Ilya just groans and goes to find an employee to ask about the adoption process. Because he realizes Shane is having that same instant connection that he had seeing Anya for the first time

He names the cat Puck by the way. Like hockey puck. But if you ask him he’ll get embarrassed and say like the Shakespeare character

Call me old fashioned, but I think the president saying "a whole civilization will die tonight" is the part where he should be deposed immediately.

i'm anti death penalty but i do think everyone who posts about dan and phil's so-called height difference should be shot probably

this has got to be ilya’s most effortless seduction ever because you can tell shane’s imagination is doing allllll the work for both of them here. ilya’s idly wondering if he can talk the cute uptight virgin into exchanging fumbled handjobs in the nearest bathroom… shane meanwhile is scripting out elaborate scenarios where league rules dictate that on draft night, for one night only, the 2OA’s body is the sole property of the 1OA to use in whatever depraved ways he desires

Is it more gay or autistic if gagging on it is like a stim thing for me. don’t answer this.

It seems like the older I get, the more irrationally angry casual censorship makes me. And it isn't just the "unalive" "grape" alleged filter-dodging vernacular, but the way normal words will be peppered with asterisks, or screenshots will have words like "gay" "hell" "fuck" etc either partially or entirely blurred. Who is this helping? What is the purpose of it, except to reinforce shame and elevate a flimsy perception of purity and safety, however those things manifest. It's so tiresome and I'm sick of it.