please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

ellievsbear

Janaina Medeiros

oozey mess

Kiana Khansmith
we're not kids anymore.
Game of Thrones Daily
todays bird
noise dept.

Love Begins
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

★
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

#extradirty

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
NASA
will byers stan first human second
almost home


JBB: An Artblog!

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@nancethepants
please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

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Part of Shaboozey's Grammy Acceptance Speech for winning for Best Country Duo/Group Performance
Trekkies opening Tumblr on January 29 that have forgotten it’s Threshold Day.
🦎🦎🦎🥳🎉🎊🍾
me opening tumblr and immediately seeing cursed lizard babies
look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

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your aversion to anything earnest or sincere has affected us in the following ways 1. youre annoyinggggggg
one good thing about december on this hellsite is that this gif will be making its rounds again

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Typical cult logic. Obey the abuser. Protect the strong man. Don't think for yourself.
I read an article about Costco back in 2008. The owner was approached by a business consultant with a plan that could make him $1 million a year, personally. The plan would’ve had the owner fire 20% of his work staff, cut benefits and start new employees at minimum wage. After reading the proposal, the owner said, “You’re fired. I make $350,000 a year. I have two houses two cars two kids in college, a boat and a RV. No one needs to make a million dollars a year at the expense of your employees.”
If there was a Costco near me, I’d be there weekly just support such an honest company.
nurse: doctor... the patient is flatlining... we dont have nearly enough yuri to sustain them!
doctor: tch... i guess theres no choice...!!
*doctor pulls in nurse for a tender embrace and a beat passes before they kiss passionately*
*pulse starts again*
nurse: i cant believe it...! doctor youve saved yet another patient through your unorthodox methods!
doctor, looking out the window to avoid the nurse's adoring gaze: suppose i have...
doctor, thinking: sigh... will i ever get to approach her not out of obligation but out of ...love...;!
nurse, thinking: i hope she doesnt realize ive been manufacturing the yuri shortage to engineer these kinds of scenarios
moral of the story: the doctor was a woman
(Edit: The Tumblr app was being very glitchy when I first posted this and I didn't realize that it had entirely lost the text I wrote to go with the gifs so I'll try again.)
Of all the people born on the 16th of December Jane Austen is probably my favorite (yeah yeah Beethoven was pretty great too).
And today is her 250th birthday. One of those divisible by ten milestone birthdays that you can't just ignore.
Happy Birthday Ms. Austen!!!
Whether you remember her as the brains behind the Clarkenwell Diamond Robbery or as a novelist, we can all agree she had balls.
The correct (only according to me of course) ranking of her complete novels is:
1. Persuasion
2. Pride and Prejudice
3. Emma
4. Northanger Abbey
5. Sense and Sensibility
6. Mansfield Park
7. Tipsy Confessions of a Lady Brandy Smuggler
There was this woman poet in 4th century China called Su Hui (蘇蕙), a child genius who had reportedly mastered Chinese characters by age 3.
At 21 years old, heartbroken by her husband who left her for another woman, she decided to encode her feelings in a structure so intricate, so beautiful, so intellectually staggering that it still baffles scholars to this day.
Came to be known as the Xuanji Tu (璇璣圖) - the "Star Gauge" or "Map of the Armillary Sphere" - it's a 29 by 29 grid of 841 characters that can produce over 4,000 different poems.
Read it forward. Read it backward. Read it horizontally, vertically, diagonally. Read it spiraling outward from the center. Read it in circles around the outer edge. Each path through the grid produces a different poem - all of them coherent, all of them beautiful, all of them rhyming, all of them expressing variations on the same themes of longing, betrayal, regret, and undying love.
The outer ring of 112 characters forms a single circular poem - believed to be both the first and longest of its kind ever written. The interior grid produces 2,848 different four-line poems of seven characters each. In addition, there are hundreds of other smaller and longer poems, depending on the reading method.
At the center a single character she left implied but unwritten: 心 (xin) - "heart." Later copyists would add it explicitly, but in Su Hui's original the meaning was even more beautiful: 4,000 poems, all orbiting the space where her heart used to be.
Take for instance the outer red grid of the Star Gauge. Starting from the top right corner and reading down, you get this seven-character quatrain:
仁智懷德聖虞唐,
貞志篤終誓穹蒼,
欽所感想妄淫荒,
心憂增慕懷慘傷。
In pinyin, it is:
Rén zhì huái dé shèng yú táng,
zhēnzhì dǔ zhōng shì qióng cāng,
qīn suǒ gǎnxiǎng wàng yín huāng,
xīn yōu zēng mù huái cǎn shāng.
Notice how it rhymes? táng / cāng / huāng / shāng
The rough translation in English is: "The benevolent and wise cherish virtue, like the sage-kings Yao and Shun, With steadfast will I swear to the heavens above, What I revere and feel - how could it be wanton or dissolute? My heart's sorrow grows, longing brings only grief."
Now read it from the bottom to the top and you get this entirely different seven-character quatrain:
傷慘懷慕增憂心,
荒淫妄想感所欽,
蒼穹誓終篤志貞,
唐虞聖德懷智仁。
The pinyin:
Shāng cǎn huái mù zēng yōu xīn,
huāngyín wàngxiǎng gǎn suǒ qīn,
cāngqióng shì zhōng dǔzhì zhēn,
táng yúshèngdé huái zhì rén.
It rhymes too: xīn and qīn, zhēn and rén
And the meaning is just as beautiful and coherent: "Grief and sorrow, longing fills my worried heart, Wanton and dissolute fantasies - is that what you revere? I swear to the heavens my constancy is true, May we embody the sage-kings' virtue, wisdom, and benevolence."
That's just 2 poems out of the over 4,000 you can construct from the Xuanji Tu!
At the very center of the grid, the 8 red characters wrapped around the central heart, she "signed" her poem with a hidden message:
詩圖璇玑,始平蘇氏。 "The poem-picture of the Armillary Sphere, by Su of Shiping."
Or reversed:
蘇氏詩圖,璇玑始平。 "Su's poem-picture - the Armillary Sphere begins in peace."
Many scholars, and even emperors, throughout Chinese history have been completely obsessed by Su Hui's puzzle.
For instance, in the Ming dynasty, a scholar named Kang Wanmin (康萬民) devoted his entire life to the poems (kangshiw.com/contents/461/2…), ending up documenting twelve different reading methods - forward, backward, diagonal, radiating, corner-to-corner, spiraling - and extracting 4,206 poems. His book on the subject ("Reading Methods for the Xuanji Tu Poems", 璇璣圖詩讀法) runs to hundreds of pages.
Empress Wu Zetian herself, the legendary woman emperor of the Tang dynasty, wrote a preface to the Xuanji Tu around 692 CE (baike.baidu.com/item/%E7%BB%87…).
Incredibly, there's even far more complexity to the Xuanji Tu than just the poems:
- The name 璇玑 (Xuanji) - Armillary Sphere - is astronomical in meaning and the way the poems can be read mirrors the way celestial bodies orbit around a fixed center. It's a model of the heavens.
- Her original work, with the characters woven on silk brocade, was in five colors (red, black, blue/green, purple, and yellow) which correspond to the Five Elements (五行) - the foundational Chinese philosophical system that explains how the universe operates. So it's also a model of the entire cosmic order according to ancient Chinese philosophy.
- It's also of course deeply mathematical with this 29 x 29 perfect square grid, with sub-squares, lines and rectangles, and a structure which allows for symmetrical reading patterns in all directions
- Last but not least, the content of the poems themselves contain multiple registers. On top of expressing her personal grief and longing for her husband, it's also filled with accusations against the concubine (Zhao Yangtai) he left her for, reflections on politics (with many references to sage-kings) and philosophical reflections.
So the Star Gauge is simultaneously:
- A love letter (expressing personal longing)
- A legal brief (arguing her case against her rival)
- A cosmological model (structured like the heavens)
- A Five Element diagram (encoding the fundamental structure of the world according to ancient Chinese philosophy)
- A mathematical construction with perfect symmetry and precision
And yet, for all this complexity, we should not forget this was all ultimately in service of the simplest human message imaginable: a 21-year-old woman asking the love of her life "come back to me".
Her husband did, eventually. According to what empress Wu Zetian herself wrote in her preface to the Xuanji Tu, when he received Su's brocade he was so "moved by its supreme beauty" that he sent away his concubine and returned to his wife. As the story goes, they lived together until old age.
The heart at the center was filled after all.

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Exactly 250 years ago today, during a particularly harsh Hampshire winter, the seventh of eight children was born into the family of a local clergyman. The name of George and Cassandra's daughter was not officially recorded until the following April, owing to the conditions... but from this obscure start, she would grow up to become one of the most beloved authors of all time. So universally read, that her works have never been out of print; a phenomenally talented pioneer who, despite such scant formal education, used her incredible powers of observation and understanding of the various quirks of human nature to bring to life, as she sat at her twelve sided writing desk, a cast of captivating characters which continue to delight.
It was at this desk, in the cottage which her brother had procured for her, that she wove intricate story threads that ensure her novels are endlessly readable and timeless... hence why they are still being enjoyed and discussed after so much time has elapsed.
Although, in so many ways, she remains an enigma, with so little facts known about her life... we all feel like we 'know' her and have an idea of who Jane Austen is in our heads. That speaks volumes about her talent.
Our world is barely recognisable to the one she inhabited, but Jane Austen captured the fundamental essence of human nature in the writing she managed over the course of her tragically short life, and that is why we continue to delight in her works. In that sense, she lives forever.
Happy 250th Birthday, Jane. Thank you for all of the delight you've brought to successive generations of readers from all walks of life. I cannot imagine my life without your novels... and I'm certainly glad that I don't have to!
A watercolour by Cassandra Austen from 1804, believed to be of her sister Jane.
Truly the all time funniest writer thing is when you're doing edits and you think to yourself "omg I've got the PERFeCT sentence to add right here!" and then you stick it in all excited, only to find that literally three lines down you have virtually that exact same sentence in the draft already.