slurp

i fuckign queued this and forgot abt it and got scared cuz i thought i was hacked or smth. anyways happy june eleventh

reblog while its still true 

How does it feel to have conceptualized the perfect Spider-Man trailer op

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

I'd summon twin scythes

really cool

i still believe we should let kesha gut dr luke on stage with a longsword or a greatsword whichever one she prefers

Person who has burned too much midnight oil: Hunh I wonder why I am out of oil at noon on a Wednesday. It surely cannot be the consequences of my actions from the past month

Person who has been burning their candle at both ends: Why does my candle keep falling over?

Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

when a couth mutual sees your uncouth post..