Like a Shitpost Oracle

I used to think all possessed demon blades lusted for carnage and bloodshed. Then I found this ornate ceremonial flamberge in the tallest tower of a ruined castle. She claimed to be a princess, demanded to be polished at least twice a day to the point where I could use her blade as a mirror, would freak out about any dirt that got on her, and often wouldn’t let me unsheathe her because she refused to let her honed edge be tainted by “filthy peasant blood”. Let me tell you though against all foes with even the lowest of noble titles she would slice through their weapons, armor, bodies, and bones in but a fell swoop like a knife through butter. Then she would gloat over their corpses mocking them for being petty nobility with her ridiculous laugh, it felt like she was going too far to me but at least she was having fun

Hey check out how hard i ca]

You know who else ca]

its not that hard guys, wat]

[n portal through posts 😁

[n portal through posts 😁?

[ch- wait... guys???

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

An advertisement for the bus on the back of a lawyer. A clown painted to look like an egg. A multicolored wolf wearing a fleshy skinsuit. Butter can't believe I'm not me.

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

so there's a natural order to this world and we need atleast four million mans in boots with armor, vehicles, and firearms to enforce it, otherwise something unnatural might happen