Mystsong

vimes did not resign from his post in protest, observe the rest of the watch resign from their posts in protest, recruit them into a militia, sail to the country they were at war with, and attempt to arrest two different armies for disturbing the peace so you could sit here and call him a drama queen, as though drama was some myffic quality bestowed by an accident of birth and not the inherent right of every creatively petty and histrionic citizen of ankh-morpork 

incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go

correct response:

(you’re not stupid. I posted this thinking it would amuse a handful of mutuals who all knew the context and that would be about it, so I didn’t think about providing any other explanation. I had no idea it would spread this far.)

I’ll start from the very beginning just to be thorough. so this is Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, a show which had a big focus on mystery, conspiracies, codes and ciphers, etc. the whole plot is kicked off by one of the main characters finding a mysterious old journal in the woods, which detailed all kinds of weird and supernatural things, but then ended abruptly with the author saying they had to hide the journal because they were being watched. the central driving mystery of the show, therefore, was the question of who wrote the journal and what happened to them.

now, the thing about Gravity Falls is that, while it must be said that the writers weren’t always quite as sure of their plans as we tend to like to think they are, it is very much a fair play mystery, with legitimate clues to what was going on. but the writers were caught off guard by how quickly the show attracted a dedicated audience, including a lot of people outside the primary presumed demographic, who started solving the clues faster than expected. so some of the fans were able to correctly guess who the author was before it was revealed in the show, and the theory started spreading. this put the writers in something of a panic, because this was THE mystery that the whole story revolved around, with ¾ of the show building up to the dramatic reveal in the middle of season 2. they wanted it to be a mystery that could be figured out, sure, but they weren’t prepared for people to solve it so far in advance of when it was planned to be revealed, which would have really taken away from the big moment. they weren’t going to change the main story itself, but having been caught unaware by how much attention the fans were paying, they wanted to up the ante and make the mystery more complex to solve going forward–but first they needed to buy some time and throw the fandom off the scent for a little longer.

hence, Alex’s plan as described above. they whipped up a fake shot that appears to give away the identity of the author as being another character in the show, put it on a screen in the studio as if it was a real animation frame, took a picture of it, and ‘leaked’ it online. it was initially decided to be a hoax (albeit, I think, presumed to be a hoax originating from outside the production team), until Alex posted this tweet:

…before quickly deleting it (though not so quickly that it didn’t get seen, of course).

it worked well enough to distract most people for a while, and wasn’t revealed as a hoax until a year later, when an episode aired that definitively proved that the supposed screenshot could never have happened, at which point Alex owned up to the whole thing as seen in the tweet above. by then the episode with the real reveal wasn’t far off, and while people did still work it out ahead of time, it was more of an “OH MY GOD I KNEW IT!” moment than a “booooooring, we’ve known that for ages” moment, which of course was what the writers wanted all along.

personally I find this a fascinating approach to dealing with the problem of spoilers, because it doesn’t affect the story itself at all; if you watch Gravity Falls today–or if you were watching it when it aired without any significant contact with the fandom–you’d never know about it. ultimately, the problem the writers were facing wasn’t that some people might guess the answer to the mystery–they never wanted to make it completely impossible to predict–so much as it was that they hadn’t designed the story to stand up to so many people working on the puzzle together, which resulted in a sort of total output of puzzle-solving ability that far outstripped the capability of any one solo human being. so their solution is something that’s very much targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show.

plus, it’s very in keeping with the overall tone of the show.

don’t:

change the ending

do:

Obviously it doesn't cover 100% of intolerant people, but I think it explains a decent chunk tbh.

The vast majority of fruit started off tiny and barely edible, and was hammered into deliciousness through centuries of concerted horticulture.

This was made necessary because eating the fruit the old man makes induces sapience, and after the third or forth one you're hitting overdose territory (sapience is bio-accumulative and, in this instance, seems to fill a capsaicin-like role in limiting fruit harvesting to favorable seed propagators). So to maintain our fruit intake we were required to domesticate it out of other plant strains.

It was ultimately the thunderbolt that made Zeus. Not as a weapon, but as an idea. The thunderbolt was the mightiest weapon of the heavens, strokes of divine flame that brought down buildings and men alike. Zeus was the lightning, it was the symbol of his infinite power, which could strike from the sky without warning or defense.

Until June of 1752.

Thereafter, the lightning bolt was neither mysterious nor all-powerful. The might of gods could be thwarted with an iron rod and some copper wire. It could, and would, be tamed, yolked, and put to work at the command of the creatures that once trembled at it.

Prophecies are, after all, often obnoxiously symbolic, and it's hard to argue that a nation-founding(adjacent) womanizing libertine who plays with lightning in his spare time isn't at least metaphorically a child of Zeus.

Irony proved itself a double-edged sword, as Sisyphus's judge would be lashed to wheels without end with nothing to do but push.

Each year that passed, Zeus grew more hunched and gaunt, as Hephaestus walked taller and more proud. The eagle no longer came for there was no liver to take. Fire and writing, those were his gifts. The first technology and the means to preserve knowledge. He might have become god of science, but such a irony was too great for god or titan to take.

Yes, storms would still kill, lightning would still destroy. But there would be warning, there would be procedures, there would be explanations. A storm was more a beast than a wrathful king: a hazard to be managed with preparation and caution, not a sovereign to be feared and appeased.

Kingship, too, would find the next few centuries just as harrowing, making a reliable fallback domain all but worthless.

Zeus was dangerous still, certainly.

The way cattle are dangerous.

At least he had a lot of practice being a dumb animal thanks to what I think we can all safely assume was a kink.

Imagine our chagrin, however, when the new guy stepped in. Was it Hephaestus, as the patron of technology? Perhaps Hermes as the god of messages and communication? Athena then? Hard to say war hasn't had her day millennium.

I know I’m the one who cast the curse but it can still only be broken with true love. I’m begging you, somebody, please come and fall in love with these girls and make them leave, I can’t take it anymore, it sucks so bad. I can’t keep getting viciously bullied by one of the largest living species of waterfowl anymore. I’ve tried running away but they can fly so they just find me. I’m getting nothing done.

"Copy. Moon joy."

"I have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working."

"Houston, if you could give me about 20 new superlatives in the mission summary for tomorrow that will help out my vocabulary a little bit, that would be great. Thank you."

“If you’ve ever seen the top of the spotlight of the top of the Luxor at night in Vegas, this looks like what it wants to be when it grows up.”

"To all of you down there on Earth... we love you, from the moon."

"We just went sci fi."

"It is so great to see Earth again. To Asia, Africa, and Oceania: we are looking back at you. We hear you can look up and see the moon right now. We see you too."

"We will always choose Earth. We will always choose each other."