On That Country Road

I had this sitting around as a wip for like months so I finally dusted it off and finished it.

Yes! It is!

Ok so y’all know Doc Antel? From tiger king?

Well he has a cult down in Myrtle Beach and I almost joined it.

I was freshly 18 and this was a couple months after Dashcon. I was in college and really not doing well adjusting, and I had been kind of vocal about it. Anyway, so then I got hit up by a girl that I used to work with at the SC State Fair. And she was like “hey, I saw your Instagram, you look great, how are you,” blah blah blah. And we caught up and I was complaining about how I hated college but only had my associates so I HAD to get my bachelors or I’d never get anywhere and she goes “Um actually! I know a way you can get hands on experience with wild animals AND get free housing!” So obviously I’m like ok go on.

Anyway, this girl told me I would have to come back to Myrtle Beach but that I could get a two year contract working at the TIGERS Preservation Station in Myrtle Beach. We talked for weeks about all the great things that I could do for wildlife conservation but then things took kind of a weird turn.

For reference, she started telling me

I had to be free of any kind of attachment

I would have to break up with my partner (who is my current roommate almost 11 years later actually) and get rid of my cat

I would have to be comfortable not speaking with my parents for long periods of time

I would have to be ready to drop everything and move at a moment's notice

If I ever got pregnant I would have to be comfortable getting an abortion immediately

I could not date anybody the entire time that I was under contract

There would be absolutely no days off like even if there was a funeral that I had to go to or if I had a religious holiday

I had to lose weight (they would hire me at my current weight but I was still “overweight” so once I got there I would have to start working out intensely to lose weight)

It was mandatory that I watched The Devil Wears Prada (this was not a joke, this was a nonnegotiable)

There was lot of weird stuff involving yoga

I would have become a vegetarian

Anyway, oddly enough none of that struck me as a red flag (because I was a vulnerable target) EXCEPT the vegetarian thing because I have ARFID and chicken tenders are one of the few foods I eat.

This has been a common method for a long time in some states

"This is dialogue."

-This is not.

-Neither is this-

OOOOOH I WAS WAITEING FOR SOMEON TO TRY ME

THIS IS BACK OF X BOX CONROLER. DO YOU SEE THE BIG GRAY CHUNKJ? IN THAT OTHER IMAGE? NO? NO STUPID HEAD? YOU DONT GET IT YOU DONT GET ANYTHING . THAT FIERST CONTOLLER IS A WIRELESS CONTROLLER WITH A RECHARGABLE. BATTERY . ADAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!