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WAIT YOU GUYS I JUST GOT A REALLY GOOD IDEA HOLD ON LET ME DRAW IT REAL QUICK

it’s the year 2080. the expressions “the horse has left the hospital” and “between a crematorium and a dildo store” have fully entered the lexicon even though barely anyone remembers where they originated. one day the kids who live in the Amazon Temperate Habitat Bubble next door ask me what was between the proverbial crematorium and dildo store in the first place. i rip off my Amazoxygen® Ventilator and gasp, “the fucking horse” and immediately die from the polluted air in my probably-covid-ravaged lungs. haunted by these cryptic last words, the kids bury themselves in the ancient runes of the Internet Archive until they find the meme that unlocks it all. the horse was one of the last presidents of the late american empire, a lynchpin in the slow disintegration of the union. suddenly, a drone flies directly through the window. “forbidden word detected: ‘union’,” it says, gearing up its Amazon Brainbuster Electric Reinforcement System. they run

its monday. lets get on it cunts

wishing everybody a penis friday

problems disorder

certified iconic post

Might fuck around and accept the things I cannot change

Please do not contact me about the Supernatural ending I know everything and there’s not a single post I could make that will come near touching the sheer parody of itself that was its finale. Nothing I say will be funnier than what they did to themselves. Maybe now humankind can finally start to heal.

Never mind my friend Sera just told me on the phone that she thinks the Impala ascending physically to heaven is what creates the Catholic canon in the Pixar’s Cars universe

prisoners should get to vote while theyre in prison.

paid for by tax dollars. u betcha.

no looparound shit like “ok but they gotta pay for it themselves the postage and blahnldh” nope. free to prisoners.

u dont like that? then get rid of prisons. damn.

Just making drug jokes that completely misunderstand what each drug does. Seeing like a surrealist image and going like Holy shit were these people doing poppers??????

girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure

the BEST THING about America is that one of their timezones is called mountain time. i cannot tell you how funny that is to me. it sure is always time for mountains in one fourth of america