muffin muffin

i want so badly to be more offline but alas the siren call of images

SPEECH PATTERNS WRAPPED. This year you absorbed 27 NEW PHRASES FROM ONLINE into your DAILY VERNACULAR. You opened a conversation with 'hi for the love of god hello' 32 TIMES! You enjoyed BLORBO from YOUR SHOWS for 298 HOURS! Your top artist was LITTLE GERMAN BOY from the CAVE OF BLÜNTSMOKEN

If you ever need reassurance that you’re smart I’ll share the fact I found out rice isn’t a noodle and it’s actually a plant literally last year

Just to be clear I’m incredibly smart and I’m not selling myself short this just wasnt my best hot boy moment

Hey, I have a question. What are noodles made out of?

I was under the assumption that it was boiled bread.

Why would anyone boil bread that isn't bagels and why did I have to be punched in the guts twice by these revelations

Why are you boiling your bagels

Today I learned from 10 people that you make bagels by boiling them

you what

You what

[id: aggressive red all-caps text saying “THIS POST IS ABOUT KNUCKLES. DO NOT DERAIL”, flanked by pictures of the Sonic character Knuckles. end id]

thanks for adding the id but what the fuck

‘it’s just trendy to hate on marvel’ no. marvel has done this to themselves. they overwork underpaid and non unionized vfx artists, they don’t allow actors to have access to the full scripts, they gloat about continuity but don’t have consistency, very few of the writers care even slightly about the characters or the source material, and they have gone for quantity over quality / are overproducing their product to the point of consumer exhaust. they are a multi billion dollar creative monopoly that should be held accountable

sometimes i think about how my all-girls catholic school’s idea of a PE class was to pair two girls up, teach us how to dance tango (one of the most sensual dances) for a whole sem, and have us perform it as an exam with one girl wearing a dress and the other girl wearing a coat and tie and how theyre still completely baffled on why almost half of their students are gay

so conversion therapy works but only in one direction huh

you laugh, but some necromancer is out there setting up a PowerPoint presentation