I'm Not Normal About That

Because what do you mean they went to the batting cages for some silly fun to watch everyone flail at an unfamiliar sport, only for Shane to need three practice swings before figuring out the force and timing needed to start hitting every single pitch? What do you mean he sets the course record at the mini golf place they have the Pike twins birthday at? What do you mean he learned how to play cricket over a long weekend in the UK? What do you MEAN your Canadian ass that grew up on a calm, tiny lake went to visit Rose in LA and just learned to surf from “some guy” one of the days she was busy??

Shane doesn’t get why they all think it’s so crazy. He’s a professional athlete, he’s good at full body and mind control as well as adaptability and hand-eye coordination, and he’s so used to being the best in the world at hockey that he views being mundanely good at anything else as barely noticeable. He argues with Troy over whether he counts as being good at basketball just because he killed them all at the basketball shooting game at a Dave and Buster’s

They all start making bets to see who can find a sport Hollander isn’t good at. Harris is convinced he’ll win with figure skating because Shane’s muscle memory will want to work against him with a technique that’s so similar but also so different, only for Shane to come out of an afternoon learning from his old friend who was at the Olympics with the ability to do simple jumps and spins and is insisting the whole team learn so they can incorporate it into plays. Harris is not allowed to make suggestions after that

Ilya Rozanov is Now Live by Itsallfine Rated T, 2,690 words

Post-cottage, Shane and Ilya quickly discover that hiding sucks, so they launch their friendship via a series of chaotic Instagram Lives. It predictably spirals out of control.

Ch 1: Friends! Ch 2: …Uh, friends? Ch 3: Definitely not friends.

Yuna Hollander's 10 Step Guide to Soft Launching a Bromance by allyasavedtheday Rated T, 10,668 words

“It sure made for a hell of a show,” the same journalist agrees before waggling his eyebrows. “So does this mean we’re putting the rivalry to bed?”

Ilya laughs before Shane can say anything, slinging a casual arm over Shane’s shoulder. Shane has no idea how he can be so nonchalant about it all but Ilya’s always been better at this kind of stuff. He’s loud and brash and confident and it usually means the press doesn’t pick up on the stuff he’s not saying.

“Ah we will always like beating each other I think,” he says. “But this weekend, we are friends. Right, Hollander?”

He jostles Shane’s shoulder as if to emphasise his point and Shane manages to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth long enough to answer. He makes a show of rolling his eyes before allowing a grin that’s probably a little too real to settle on his face. “It’s harder to hate him when he’s helping me win.”

---

Yuna Hollander's foolproof guide to turning a rivalry into a bromance before the announcement of the Irina Foundation

What’s Wrong With Them (Affectionate) by Ef02 Rated T, 8,272 words

NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life This is officially the weirdest day in All Of Hockey

Ily-a @ilyahoezenov So we’re agreed that they’re not actually getting married right. Like something else is going on

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike Well obviously Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov aren’t actually getting married, they’ve obviously been fucking with us all day

Or:

What if Shane and Ilya decide to explode the internet by letting their friends post about their wedding, before anyone knows they're together. A chaotic way to come out if they could do it on their own terms.

In Their Own Words by P1n3appl3_p3n Rated T, 13,957 words

Instead of being outed by a video from Hayden Pike, what if Ilya and Shane were allowed to release their relationship the way they wanted?

If They Only Knew by FlameHazel18 Rated T, 23,754 words

Shane and Ilya just want to tell the world about their relationship, on their own terms. If only anyone would actually believe them.

Or: the closet is reinforced steel, apparently.

"I think we tried too hard," Ilya says from the opposite end of the couch, probably scrolling through the same articles as Shane. "Was easier to keep secret than we thought. I could have kissed you on center ice, and everyone would say aww, I love their…what is word again?" "Bromance?" "Yes. That."

Fanning the Flames by cjr2 Rated E, 21,185 words

The Voyageurs ask Shane to join FanMail in order to foster a better connection with fans. Internet sleuths start to notice some interesting details in the background of Shane’s videos, and then the internet does...what the internet does.

The official trailer for Hadestown pro shot (2026) recorded at the lyric theatre in London

But also, and this is really important to keep in mind regarding bigotry that still causes in many ways larger problems, that the structural problems are not actually fixed.

If you go to any computer lab or public library, the mice will be on the right side of the computer. Sometimes they can be moved. Sometimes they can't. Many computer mice are curved to only fit in right hands.

It is impossible to find lefthanded scissors without going to a specialty store, because most scissor makers don't even make them. And it's not just a matter of grip; the slicing side of the blades is obscured if you use righty scissors in your left hand, so your cut is off.

All those signing pads with the little chained styluses? Almost always on the right side, often not even long enough to stretch to the left. Makes signing for lefties extremely difficult.

I caused actual muscular problems in college having to twist around in order to write at right-handed desks in college when there weren't enough lefty desks--and there never were. Some classrooms didn't even have a single one.

I could go on.

Pause for a moment, especially if you’re right-handed—and I’m being serious here, physically do this if you have two functioning arms and hands—and grab a writing tool in your left hand. Now place your right index finger down and try to start writing a word next to it.

Yeah. Great technique, huh? Really convenient and comfortable and easy. 🙃

I sent in a small baggie of small popsicle sticks I’d custom painted for them and labeled with their name for kiddo to use instead, but ultimately they stopped because it wasn’t as convenient when nobody else had to get something out.

Writing in English is difficult enough when you’re left-handed (most of our letters are designed with pull motions, but lefties must push), but even other foundational basics are made more difficult than they have to be, because their needs aren’t considered, even in situations where overt hostility isn’t intended.

Even now, in an older grade, they’re now all sharing a lot of the supplies, but my kiddo has their own pair of labeled lefty scissors they keep in their personal cubby. Teacher was 100% chill with me sending them in, but didn’t even consider to take the step further when I’d asked about whether or not they had them to just… get some for all the lefties. I know there are other kids, know some of them personally. (I made a set of writing spacing sticks for the single one that I knew of back in 1st grade.)

Regarding computer mice? Kiddo had standardized testing last year. They do it on chromebooks now at their school. They did their entire first day with the track pad instead of the mouse, because none of the teachers proctoring or assisting even knew you COULD switch the sides/toggle a setting to switch which button was the dominant select. We happened to have one at home thanks to remote learning during Covid’s early days, so that night we sat down together and found the setting ourselves so they could fix it the following day. But on a student account at school, they couldn’t change that setting. And? None of those teachers knew enough about technology to be able to override it. So even when I went above and beyond and personally sought out the skills and tools to help my child level the playing field on their own, the teaching staff was so unaccustomed to even considering this as a need or problem, that they weren’t able to remove the incredibly basic barriers to a fair schooling experience.

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

And sure, you can dismiss these people as lazy, as stupid, as being elderly and so who cares. But from my 17 years of experience, I can tell you that technical instinct and ability varies widely across the entire adult spectrum. And I can also tell you that people have different strengths, and that just because someone isn't good with computers doesn't mean they aren't smart as hell.

And I can also say, again, that it really doesn't matter.

I explained very clearly to the manager my issue with the meat section not having the price tags listed, and they claimed it was only going to be for the meat, since meat is by weight, and the price of each item is printed on the packs of each item.

Sure. That’s how they get their foot in the door. Fast forward not even two weeks, and here we are:

Bar codes. No prices, no item descriptions. No price stickers on the individual items. Heck, not even the name of the item that is SUPPOSED to be there.

No. The only way to see the price is to scan it on your phone app, which is also recording what you looked at recently, as a way of gauging what you might be looking for in the future.

So here’s what we’re gonna do gang:

Every time you go into a store that has implemented these price-less tags:

Take 1-3 items up to the cash register. Ask the cashier for the price, or hit the price check item on the self checkout, which will likely call over the attendant.

Express that you didn’t actually want it, you just couldn’t see on the shelf how much it was.

POLITELY, AND WITH A THANK YOU FOR THE PRICE CONFIRMATION, Give the items to the cashier or attendant to put back.

When they inevitably try to push the app, politely decline. If pressed for why not, say you don’t want to have to carry your phone in-hand the whole time you are shopping in order to see how much things cost. (Not having cell service or data to use the app is NOT a valid excuse, as stores already often have complimentary WiFi AND more stores will provide WiFi rather than give up on this push for surveillance pricing)

If it’s a shelf-stable item, the cashier will have to set it aside, taking up room in their limited operating space, and eventually pass it off to someone to put in a holding area to put back later. If it’s a fridge/freezer item, it might have to get tossed due to food product sale regulations.

In either case, you are making it a pain in the ass for them to have these digital bar codes. Tie up the checkouts. Give the employees more busywork that the company has to pay them to do. Hurt their bottom line having to toss the pint of ice cream you carried around in your cart for 20 minutes before giving it back to the cashier.