the 2nd gravity falls summer (bc you know there would be more than one) the mystery isΒ βwhat the fuck is wrong with this traumatized pink teenagerβ instead ofΒ βwho is the author of the journalsβΒ
mabel (upon seeing stevenβs gem): youβre PERMANENTLY BEDAZZLED?????
dipper: ugh gideonβs the worst
steven: oh yeah I hate it when your friends try to kill you, but you just gotta wait it out and be patient with them and theyβll come around to you eventually
the kids repainting the sign when mabel drops her paintbrush to the ground by accident, cue steven being like βnp iβll get itβ and walking straight off the edge of the roofΒ
mabel: i hate that picture of me, 4th gradeβs the worst
steven: haha yeahβ¦gradesβ¦those existβ¦ i definitely didnβt look exactly the same from ages 8 to 14 for complicated shapeshifting reasons
βour grunkle stan is kind of a sketchy guyβΒ βoh no way most of my family are war criminalsβ
steven: *breaks a cup* aw shit *licks it and it seals back together*Β
dipper: *furiously taking notes*
theres no possible way that stevenΒ βhavenβt you noticed Iβm a starβ universe doesnβt come over to mabelβs slumber parties w/ candy and grenda and casually mention his girlfriend who a. is literally a knight in shining armor, b. has taken down multiple genocidal dictators thousands of times her size, not to mention c. mastering the art of swordfighting when she was twelve and d. saving his life and the lives of all the beach city residents on a regular basis
dipper: *trying to reach something on a high shelf*
steven: oh here you go *shapeshifts his arm to grab it and bring it down*
playing w/ waddles and nonchalantly saying something about missing his own large, pink pet, a magical lion that can teleport and that he has ridden into battle multiple times
(at suzyβs diner) steven: donβt worry, iβll get the billΒ
various pines: thanks man
steven: itβs cool, my dadβs a millionaire