a scar bellow my lungs

This post resurrected the word Slonk

happy ten year anniversary to slonking it stupid style!

After sex you see me roll over and go to balcony. You think ive gone for smoke due to my melancholic nature but I’ve opened sudoku.com evil level

they should invent a phrase as evocative as im going to kill myself that isnt about killing yourself

I am going to tunnel into the moist ground and consume handful after handful of soft earth until I become one with the mycelium networks lurking invisibly beneath our feet

123 movies is called that because you have to answer riddles three from a hot girl in your area before you can watch the movie

people on tumblr love adding "this is the funniest comment ive ever read" "every part of this image hits like a truck" "okay but can we talk about (lists all the things that make a joke funny)" in the comments. why dont you keep your voice down and let the posts wash over you in blissful silence

gnome

what was that. did you guys see that

she sauce on my scrod till i'm a New Man

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

i have felt weird and terrible all day. what is happening

someone take me out back and shoot me like a sick horse

you arent in a pasture at night you are locked in a stall in a barn with a blanket on. bitch.

ok well the blankets not so bad. i like the blanket. and the straw and the oats. dickhead.

do u want a sugar cube. do u want to chill and eat some sugar cubes together

this is fucking great things are all looking up for me. a sweet little treat