HAPPINESS FOR EVERYBODY, FREE

everyone selling a second hand weight bench in my city is a ripoff artist what the hell

it's a rectangle! and you don't want it!

My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did

started playing angels at dusk. this rips

basically through magic and genetic science humanity has created a world of pure bliss through the eradication of need. humanity existed as undifferentiated angels for 2 billion years. but now the sun is expanding and heating the earth, creating the adverse conditions required for the angels to spontaneously re-evolve a sense of self through pain and intelligence. and you shoot a lot of bullets about this

started playing angels at dusk. this rips

hypnosis works on me because I listen to women

"I'm immune to hypnosis" okay so you're basically a misogynist