the Dark Weenor rises again

I need a boyfriend that I dominate and another one that dominates me but the one I dom in turn dominates the one that doms me. Like a Rock Paper Scissors throuple. Lol I don’t actually want this but it’s a funny concept to think about. and would heal the world

i like this post it presents a humorous concept as a personal statement but clarifies that it's simply in jest. but keeps it lighthearted. but earnest. so these are the reasons why i like this post.

Soup is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but broth smells amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot spoonfuls of soup down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with soup all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your soup out the tip of your can….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

to be honest there has never been a fictional character i’ve actually wanted to date. like. i want them to date each other. i don’t want myself as a person to be involved in this scenario whatsoever. what would i add to this narratively? what’s my thematic purpose in the narrative? immersion breaking. 

I need him griping and complaining on it

I need them grumbling and bitching on it

half of my advisors have been castrated so as not to cloud their mind’s judgement and the other half have been lobotomized so as not to cloud their penis’s judgement

I love with some onion articles, you can tell exactly what prompted the writer to make them

oh you wanted chocolate atop your boston cream donut? too bad. that chocolate is for the paper bag you stupud bitch

bro my dad “went to dinner” at my favorite mexican restaraunt and said he’d bring me home a burrito and it’s fucking 9pm

my dad is having an affair

dad brought me the promised burrito just now so here’s my obligatory post exonerating him from infedelity

that burrito was fantastic. i’m inclined to think my dad has never had sex in his life

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

ocean.com/fish

ocean.com/fish/careers