Charles almost dropped his bouncy ball and spent a few seconds fumbling to catch it, then frowned back up at Edwin. “See what?”
“Can everyone see what I am? Monty knew to approach me, or at least Esther did; the Cat King evidently saw it written all over me; and all the boys at school could see it so clearly they killed me for it. Is it really that obvious, to everyone? Did I only not know because I can’t see myself? Did you know, the moment you saw me?”
“Oh,” Charles said, and sat heavily down on the sofa.
Edwin didn’t go on, just stared at the lamp waiting for Charles to answer.
“I’m not really sure how to answer that,” Charles said.
“Well. I suppose that is an answer.”
“No,” Charles said hastily. “I mean - I mean, you are - you are kinda swish, yaknow? Elegant. And - I mean, I did notice that, I guess, but - but all sorts of guys can be graceful, yeah? Doesn’t have to mean - I mean I guess it did, for you, but I just… I just sorta figured that was just you, I guess. Thought it was you being old, at first, maybe, and then when we met other ghosts your age I just, yeah. I decided it was just you being you and you clearly didn’t want me to look any further, so I didn’t.”
“You did know, then,” Edwin said quietly. “Or did see it, at least.” He paused. “Did you not mind?”
“No!” Charles half-yelled it, because he couldn’t let that stand for even a second. “I mean, the first thing I saw was that you were gentle with me, and that was - it’s not exactly like I was gonna complain.”
Edwin’s head tilted to the side.
Charles shrugged. “I guess I’d had enough of rough boys for a while.”
Raised eyebrows. “I am hardly easy to get along with.”
Charles grinned. “You’re funny. And clever. Which is different, from the boys I grew up with, and from my dad, and - if you wanna be funny and sharp when you’re mad, instead of hitting people, that’s fine by me, mate. I wasn’t gonna complain.”
Charles took a deep breath, put his ball in his pocket, and stood to put his hands on Edwin’s shoulders. Edwin looked up at him, from his chair at the desk, eyes soft and beautiful, but with that glittering sharpness deep down inside that never left.
“Look, mate. Are you different from other boys - maybe, yeah. But other boys killed the both of us. So I’m kinda thinking that’s not a bad thing. And maybe it’s just good that we got to stick around until now, when you can be how you are, and I can - I can love you for it. And neither of us can get killed for it this time. And if other people see that, and they have a problem with it, they’re the assholes, yeah? They’re the ones with the problem. They always were. Not us. Not you.”
He lifted a hand to Edwin’s cheek, and Edwin leaned into it.
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