you shine so bright, I have to look away

if you are making something featuring multiple flags and you put in the asexual flag, you better put in the aromantic flag.

if you put in the aroace flag, you better put in the aroallo flag.

^ the aromantic flag

^ the aroallo (aromantic allosexual) flag

& just btw, aromantic erasure is so bad that on pubmed, many of the very few studies that have looked into aspec people specifically, categorize us as a type of asexuality. from this study:

Our findings highlight that aromantic people wish for aromanticism not to be considered a part of asexuality—a practice that has dominated contemporary literature (Antonsen et al. 2020; Carvalho & Rodrigues, 2022; Clark & Zimmerman, 2022; Hall & Knox, 2022; Zheng & Su, 2018). Many participants clarified the distinction between their sexual identity and romantic identity and highlighted that though they may be connected for some, they should be considered independently as unique contributors to an individual’s identity and experience. This aligns with a previous aromantic community survey that showed 72% of the sample did not identify with asexual terminology (AUREA, 2021a). In combination with our findings, this suggests that a tendency to conflate and describe these identities as the same or linked may be to the disadvantage of a significant portion of the aromantic community.

this is why it is so important to include aromantic people as our own group and to specifically include non-asexual aromantics. i hope y'all can understand how frustrating it is to be erased through a group that is already erased.

asexual representation is sparse? all aromantic rep is asexual and most of the time people don't even bother to remember that "aromantic" is its own thing. i can't count how many times i've seen a character talk about not experiencing romantic attraction, only for people to go "wow asexual rep!" even though sexual attraction was never brought up.

asexual community & resources are sparse? when i try to look up groups for aromantics, i get resources on "ace & aro groups" that are literally all asexual-focused. at best asexual-focused with a mention of aromantic people. which isn't really helpful when you are aroallo and don't really want or need a group that is clearly meant for alloro asexuals and aroaces.

asexual history is sparse? i've literally never seen anything even trying to talk about aromantic history. the most impactful thing on aro history is that one tumblr post talking about a woman at a nursing home who heard the term and realized her best friend was likely aro. see above with the character situation as well.

my point here is not "aros have it worse than aces" because we are both aspec and both get fucked over by the same forces and in fact, a LOT of asexual aromantics are also very frustrated by aromantic erasure! i've even heard some people talk about not identifying as strongly as asexual, even though it fits them, because they feel their aro identity is more important to them but gets constantly erased by their asexuality.

my point is that it is so fucking disheartening to be aro even in queer spaces that are trying to be asexual-inclusive, even in supposedly aspec spaces, because it swiftly becomes apparent that people see your entire identity as just a footnote for asexuality. so many people never even realize they are aro because they aren't asexual and don't realize that you can be aro but not ace. i dealt with some really intense arophobia as a teen after realizing i was aro, feeling broken and alone. it hit much harder than any internalized homophobia or transphobia did for me at the time. i did not meet another person who identified as aromantic irl until this year. any resources and community that i had as a queer teen, as a trans teen, did not exist for me as an aro teen and does not exist for me as an aro adult, really.

and big problem is that, because people think of aromanticism as just a footnote of asexuality, they implicitly assume that more asexual rep, more asexual resources, more asexual visibility will automatically serve aromantics too. and when it doesn't work like that, aro people continue to suffer as a result.

The beloved middle school teacher that goes above and beyond in teaching his students, and his students reciprocate his love in turn.

He's dorky, awkward, can't make it two steps without stumbling over something. So earnest about everything he does and considers, but still finds this divide between himself and others that he doesn't know how to cross.

Him being signed on to the project, with them making it just as clear that he's expendable. They want him for his knowledge and will take as much from him as they can, up to and including his own life.

"For the good of humanity". Grace, who declines the opportunity to go into space because he may be socially isolated, but he still wants to live.

And is then forced to go anyway. A one-way trip orchestrated by someone he thought was his friend, who betrayed him- who is willingly sending him off to his death.

Like, this one change and suddenly we're talking about medical racism and the ownership of Black bodies and how they're used and discarded afterwards.

#but because he said one offhanded / rude comment abt a white scientist higher up on the ladder than him#he loses his job for it. he becomes a teacher making minimum wage taking a bike to school bc he cant afford anything else

#it took him years of dealing w racism in school and labs to get a fucking MASTERS degree

#only for it all to come crashing down bc he challenged the authority of one white person above him#bc he made a snide comment abt them / their research

#if he were a white man people would eat it up

#STEM ppl love drama and seeing someone with not only a wild theory but also who's willing to challenge authority? theyd love that

#but a Black man doing that? challenging the racial heirarchy?

#clearly he's just delusional and aggressive and a problem#but yeah i feel like Grace being a Black man fits the character SO well

#because he is disposable. he is shunned. he is a means to an end to the white people in charge of the project

I made a beautiful thing