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@mortemalis
u/Sonnylevrai

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literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all
like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??
i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself š„°" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw
literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all
like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??
i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself š„°" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw
thinking about the time a former housemate said to me "hey I put these box fans in the living room because it's hot" while gesturing to the fans that I was actively sitting in front of because it was hot. and I said "okay thanks." and she kept standing there like she was waiting for something else so I said "am I blocking the airflow? do you need me to move?" and she said no I'm just letting you know they're here, in the living room, for circulation. and I said well yes, I did put that together. I am enjoying them. thank you. and she looked confused. so I asked "am I meant to do something with this information or are you just informing me?" and she said no I'm letting you know they're here because It's Hot In Here. she seemed a bit aggravated, and her emphasis seemed deliberate.
it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.
about a month later she brought up that conversation as the moment it actually clicked for her that I Am Autistic And Will Not Magically Intuit The Unspoken Request You Didn't Ask Me.
I have observed enough allistic communication to know that generally, if somebody points something out to you that you can already see or are already clearly interacting with, they are making an indirect request. but as I don't know what the request is, the only way forward is for me to guess (and likely get it wrong), or prompt the allistic to tell me clearly what they need.
however, allistics don't realize they do this, so asking them to say the unspoken surprises and confuses them. this is not their fault. allistics can be quite emotionally fragile and perceive directness as confrontation, so they habitually rely on indirect speech and coded language to preserve others' feelings. this is why they may find it difficult to be direct, even when asked. I have found that with enough gentle encouragement and reassurance that they are actually helping you, you too can achieve successful communication with your allistic friend or loved one. :)
I've seen more than a few replies saying "I'm not autistic and I wouldn't have gotten that either / your roommate's an outlier / nobody could have gotten that." fair enough, it was a pretty specific situation and it seems she genuinely didn't communicate well. as I often run into issues with indirectness, it scanned to me like all the other times I haven't been able to read between the lines. so let me give a few more examples of this phenomenon that may be more common:
"You left your dish in the sink." > the hidden request is "please clean your dish, preferably right now." since it's phrased as an observation, I don't immediately intuit the request and instead think my housemate thinks I forgot about it. so I reply "oh, I know." housemate thinks i'm sassing her and gets annoyed with me. only then do I realize she was asking me to do something about the dish in the sink.
"There's hot soup on the stove." > said to me while I was preparing a sandwich. the hidden request is "please eat the soup." since it's phrased as a statement of fact, I don't immediately intuit the request and instead think my mom thinks I didn't see the soup. I did see it, but I wanted a sandwich instead. so I reply, "I saw it, thank you." mother thinks I'm being rude and gets annoyed with me. only then do I realize she was asking me to do something about the soup (and furthermore is offended I am eating a sandwich instead).
"Your bread is on the counter." > the hidden request is "please remove your sliced bread from the counter and store it elsewhere." since it's phrased as an observation, I don't immediately intuit the request and think my roommate thinks I meant to store the bread elsewhere and forgot. when I reassure her I know it's there, she gets annoyed. only then do I realize she wants me to do something about the bread on the counter.
"You can turn up the heat, you know." > said to me while I was scrambling eggs slowly over low heat. this one really confused me because of course I knew I could turn up the heat, but I had no reason to as I was only cooking for myself. when I ignored the statement because I was focused on my task and had nothing to say, my mother added, "the eggs will cook faster if you do." sure, I'm aware of this too, but I don't want to cook them faster. I won't get the texture I want. when I reply, "I don't want to, though," mom thinks I'm being rude and gets irritated, then asks me how long I'm going to take. only then do I realize she was telling me to cook faster (because she wanted the stove), instead of simply informing me I could.
"There are donuts in the break room." > a more benign example, but similar outcome. once again I hear this as a piece of information being given to me, and thank my coworker for telling me. when I don't immediately leave my desk to get donuts because I'm finishing a task, my coworker hovers and says, "well? aren't you getting some?" only then do I realize there was actually a hidden invitation, and I was supposed to respond to the hidden part and say, "I'll come get them in a minute," or "no thank you I don't want any."
as I said, I've learned over time this is something many allistic (non-autistic) people do (as well as high masking autistic folks who have learned the social rules and wear themselves out following them rigidly). despite what I've learned, my default autistic response is pretty much always to take the words at face value (especially when I'm distracted or multitasking), before remembering I have to translate them. and while I can make a decent educated guess in most cases, sometimes I just cannot and simply ask, "what are you asking me?"
unfortunately, many allistic people suffer from an inability to take words literally just as much as they struggle to speak literally, which can further obfuscate communication. this is why I emphasize gentle reassurance that you are not criticizing them, but asking them to help you, a person in need, by clarifying their intent. people generally like to be helpful and I have had moderate success with this approach.
ONE MORE THING: I have a bias! this is very US-centric, as that's where I live. some cultures around the world are extremely direct, so autistic people in those cultures may not have the specific issue I describe here. however, every culture has its own set of social norms that include a complex combination of nonverbal visual cues, body language, tone/emphasis, and countless other unspoken expectations for what's considered polite or "normal." the double empathy problem doesn't evaporate in cultures that value direct speech. autistic people just face different problems. thank you and be good to each other
I remember one time I was doing an ADHD evaluation with a kid who had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times during the 30-ish minute part of the interview where we asked his mom questions, so I knew that was his go-to excuse when bored. We get started on the WISC-V after the interview and within 30 seconds of vocab starting he asks if he can go to the bathroom, and I say:
āNo.ā
And this kid rolls his eyes because DUH and he says āWhy not?ā all cranky-styles, so I said
āBecause you donāt need to go to the bathroom, youāre bored and you need to move. If you need to move, tell me and Iāll let you know if weāre at a part of the test where we can pause. Like, for example, we can pause right now if you wanna race me around the building.ā
And this kids face fucken LIT up. We did three laps around the outside of the building and came back in and he finished like 3 subtests and asked if he could move so we got up and tried to see how high we could jump for 3 minutes and the finished the rest of the assessment with one bathroom break. And that was all it took tbh, this kid was SO capable he just needed to move and hadnāt been allowed to do so before. I also like making people mad by pointing out that I know what theyāre up to, then just giving them permission to do the thing they were sneakily trying to do in the first place. Itās like being affectionately annoying and itās part of how I connect to others.

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06/17/2026
FLY is a story about a boy who gets a second chance. Help his story take flight June 9th 11am EST on Kickstarter. Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings I hope this story lifts the world to a brighter place.
A coming of age story about Black kids who finally have power to fight back against systems designed against them.
repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014
I am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014
the fact that op turned off rbs is very very funny to me. anyway i want this post on my blog too.
women on women action ššš (āthey are trying to kill each other)

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"I learned a lot from making this" is artist talk for "making this sucked ass and I'm not entirely happy with the result."
^what artistic growth feels like
so recently i found out the Donkey Kong āyou may slap my ass onceā meme actually features a perfectly plausible gorilla ass
u donāt understand this knowledge has ALTERED me
Important research for a story I'm writing! Not real life, never real life.
You are transported back in time and into the body of a young noblewoman in the 1400s. Your parents have married you off to an awful, abusive, rapist husband whom literally no one else would marry despite him being very high nobility because he's that terrible. You successfully produce a baby boy and then plan to murder this man for the good of everyone and yourself. Here is the question: do you think you could murder him in a way that is undetectable to the historical people around you? Note: they aren't stupid, you are the prime suspect as the battered wife AND you can't just say poison. Where are you going to buy poison? Do you know anything about poison actually? NO GOOGLING! You were sent back without a plan!
Do you think you could murder someone in the 1400s and get away with it with your modern know-how?
Yes, I totally have a plan (tell me for research purposes)
No, I realize that I'm very uninformed about murder
I have some ideas but I'm not sure they would work
Edit: my notes are full of murder. I love you all
Edit: to clarify about the poison, you can use poison if you actually know how to identify it, I'm saying you can't just go "Poison!" with no knowledge about poison. Buying it probably means they know that poison and you're caught. Your personal knowledge when you read this post is all you have.
Another point of clarity: You went through all that trouble to have a baby without modern medicine so you could get the sweet house after your husband died. That's why you can't be caught. No disappearing.
Edit again: Air embolisms are going on a high shelf because the syringe won't be invented for 350 years. Prove to me that you could make one from scratch, lol
I promise to stop making edits (lol): I left the country vague because I just wanted to see ideas for modern vs. past. Whatever place you are most knowledgeable about
all cops are bastards because all cops are just doing their jobs
āIām just doing what Iām told. If I am ordered to remove gold fillings from refugees theeth then thatās what Iāll doā, says police officer Michael Hansen. Just thought Iād add this since not a lot of people outside of the nordic countries seem to have seen it. This is a danish police officer discussing a new danish law that says the police should seize the possesions and money of refugees to finance the integration.
He uh, skipped awful quickly to āstealing gold fillingsā didnāt he?
Original Article the image & caption are taken from.
Itās real.
Remember that ājust following ordersā was a claim made by the nazis who survived World War Two who were charged with warcrimes.
They also stole the gold from peopleās teeth.

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ah yes my favourite trope
Gemini had the fucking GALL to get in my email and summarize a 3-line email, taking up more space than the email did visually.
Hit the āthumbs down.ā Itās like, whatās wrong??? Was our summary wrong? Were there offensive words? Thank you for helping us improve our AI tools :)
I selected āother.ā
Text box popped up. Please elaborate!
Wrote in āI can fucking readā submit comment
Then had to spend several minutes torching all my settings with a flamethrower. Let me be clear: Iām (a lawyer) notoriously picky with my words FOR GOOD REASON (lawyering) so I overwhelmingly reject Gmailās āhelpfulā little assistance. My privacy settings were set to āfull paranoiaā a little less than a year ago when I saw the writing on the wall and knew public defenders could become a target in the future. Better to lock it all down now.
Gemini had crept in there and turned ALL that shit back on. And showed itself by saying āJane Doe says sheās so sorry for your loss and offers to reschedule for Thursday at 3ā over an email from Jane Doe saying āIām so sorry for your loss. We could reschedule for Thursday at 3?ā
Why would I possibly need this. In what universe would I need this. I have eyes and a brain and a reading speed that twenty years ago was measured at 1500 wpm with full comprehension on dense scientific text. Furthermore! If I read a summary, Iām not reading what they actually wrote. If Iām not reading what they actually wrote, Iām not using my own judgment on the words and phrases that they used.
I literally donāt understand why this is helpful at all. This is just avoidance. Using LLMs to write is specifically Not Writing. Using LLMs to summarize is Not Reading. Using them to make art is Avoiding Making Art. Just READ! Just WRITE! I was not put on this fucking planet to not read and not write and not make art! Avoidance is an anxiety symptom and indulging it gives it more power.
If I had an AI to do my most dreaded task, answer the phone for clients, I wouldnāt use it. Because an AI cannot help them. An AI cannot hear the facts of their case, make appropriate noises, be thoughtful and insightful, and then give them a realistic estimate of what could happen in court. I am unique. I cannot be replaced by machine learning. I have style. I have expertise. I donāt hallucinate unless Iām having a really great Friday night and Iām off the clock.
When I need to outsource tasks from my own brain, I give them to people I know can do them and that I trust to do them right.
Fuck, it just sneaks up on you, doesnāt it?? Goddamn Gemini jumpscare right in my own fucking email
I WAS NOT PUT ON THIS FUCKING PLANET TO NOT READ AND NOT WRITE AND NOT MAKE ART!