Amongster

Guy who coinflips every morning to see if he should kill himself and inexplicably has gotten “live” each time

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

I don't think this is true, but I will wait for a ruling by the sacred boar that lives in the center of the earth

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

fuuuuck my pet peeve got loose

I'm going to start getting annoyed soon...

When they torture u to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂😂😂

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

i yhink a pangolin could be puppies doggies

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207