Probably Not A Witch

fish want me women divorce me

Fish want women to divorce me

fish are sabotaging my romantic relationships

unrestrained summer fun

yeah Romeo and Juliet suuucks they should’ve both survived at the end and lived happily ever after instead. but of course the writer kills them both off for shock value.

They also should've been garden gnomes

please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious

I tell anyone who works under me “we’re not saving lives” any time they get too anxious about their work. There are so many jobs that you literally cannot mess up in a way that actually matters.

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

i like the idea of doing shakespeare adaptations set in high school a la 10 things i hate about you or she's the man but i feel like we're missing some opportunities by only doing the comedies. i wanna see macbeth but it's about a really high stakes student council election

Somebody once told me the CHAAAAAAANGE Is gonna roll me I said yep. What a concept On her forehead Somebody Somebody Some Once asked Is gonna roll On her forehead Well the years start coming and they don’t stop some But the Meteor men beg to differ But the Meteor men beg to differ Hey now Somebody once Hey now But the Meteor men But the Meteor men On her forehead You’ll never shine if you don’t body Hey now, you’re an Allstar You’re an Allstar CHAAAAAAANGE Hey now, you’re a Rockstar You’re an Allstar On her forehead All that glitters is some Only shooting stars Only shooting stars Only Some once told me (STATIC) But the Meteor men beg to differ It’s getting pretty thin The waters getting warm so you Pretty thin The ice we skate The hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate Meteor men (THE WORLDS ON FIRE) How’s about yours yours forehead Hey now, you’re an Allstar Somebody asked could I … I said yep, what a concept yep yep yep what a concept what a concept (whistling) I like that boat That is a nice, nice boat. I like that boat That is a nice, nice boat (amalgam of nice nice boat, all that glitters and only shooting stars) I said yep what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little CHAAAAAAANGE

this is humor on a level i was not prepared for. this is a work of genius

Somewhere a man sits naked, cold and wet in a room too small while his CIA interrogators play this on a loop.

happy pride month to chad and ryan, the lil gay cowboy and roman in the night at the museum trilogy, and every man who played volleyball in top gun (1986).

All of these are so accurate it hurts

@nicadenic

I forgot about this post, I thank you for rebloging in so I may see it once more.

As I nerd I love this :D

@fluffylandshark