Pets, Puns, & Pickup Lines

so glad to have never been the first grandchild because i saw what those fuckers chose for what we called grandma and wash my hands of that nonsense

@imadoctornotanescalator

@lazuelazuli LMAO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! Canonical Star Trek fan Ryland Grace would flip out if he got to meet Picard (as would I, as would I)

THE CROSSOVER WE NEED

WAIT I JUST NOTICED HES WEARING HIS STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION SHIRT IM DYING

AU where planes don’t exist but we have the Big Big Slingshot

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

i have a suggestion

fuck health issues fr. i should have a little screen that tells me exactly whats wrong and whag to do about it

actually tho for people who have spent their whole lives disabled they are often put into the category of "person who cannot and will not achieve anything ever in their lives" including getting qualifications from education or being employed. it's a form of ableism we don't really discuss a lot because a lot of disabled persons are being asked to push themselves through their difficulties to function on the same level as their abled peers but it is not in any way easier being someone that everyone has given up on. who doesn't get encouragement growing up, never given goals to reach, never asked for their dreams or aspirations because everyone assumes they are incapable of achievement. i feel like the disability inspiration porn comes from this group of disabled people when they manage to do anything because the abled perception of someone who has crossed the disability event horizon into "too disabled" is someone who is "useless". and encouraging people or believing in them isn't necessarily the same as pressuring them to push past their limits. and some disabled people won't manage to finish schooling or get a job or be in a relationship or do something independently, but they still deserve to try and still deserve to have someone believing in them. even if abled metrics of success are nonsensical, failing to meet them still gets you exposed to negatives attitudes, and it can still make you feel like crap