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Oh, for the 5 facts prompts, Buck and Tommy meet through Ravi at frisbee golf!
I want you to know I had to look up what frisbee golf was and then I went and made up a bunch of things about it anyway. Also it got away from me and went in a more, hm, poetical direction.
--
1. Covid had shrunk his life down to the essentials: work, grocery store, socially distance runs, home, video calls. Even with the vaccine roll out, Buck was being cautious.; the last thing he wanted to do was catch Covid and put Maddie and his soon to be born niece at risk. He was lonely and restlessβAlbert was great company when he was there, but he was grabbing as many deliveries as possible as he needed the moneyβwhich was why he didnβt laugh when Ravi said, βI have a weekly frisbee golf game with friends. You doing anything on Sunday?β
βUh, not to sound ungrateful,β Buck said, resisting the urge to look behind him to see who Ravi was actually talking to, βbut why are you inviting me? You pretend not to know us outside of work.β
With the mask covering his face, Raviβs eyebrows were putting in overtime in the judgmental department. βItβs called having a work-life balance and actual boundaries. You should try it.β
βYouβre still a probie,β Buck reminded him.
Ravi had a trick of conveying an eye roll without actually rolling his eyes. It was as impressive as it was deeply irritating. βTell me Iβm wrong.β
βBut why me?β Buck asked, refusing to take that bait. βI didnβt think you liked me.β
βIβm going to be honest,β Ravi said like he wasnβt that all of the time. βIt seems like the pandemic has maybe sent you spiraling into madness.β He held up a hand when Buck went to protest. βYou chased me with a saw last week.β
βUh, I was trying to find you so I could demonstrate how to properly use and store the saw.β
βAnd the best way to do that was by pretending to be Michael Myers?β Ravi pulled out his phone. βIβm sending you the time and place. βBe there.β
His phone vibrated. βI appreciate this, but I donβt want to be your weird coworker who got a pity invite.β And, Buck added silently, he didnβt want to be the weird older guy pretending to be the same age as a bunch of twenty-somethings.
βYou are my weird coworker,β Ravi said without a shred of pity, βbut Iβm inviting another weird coworker so youβll have someone to be weird with.β
βThanks?β Buck said. βWait, what other coworker? Is it Eddie? Did you invite Eddie? Ravi!β
2. Ravi did not invite Eddie. Buck showed up to the park, compressor sleeve on his bad leg, and saw a tiny woman struggling to pull a giant cooler out of the back of her Subaru. Buck ran to help at the same time as another man hurried over, and they both managed to catch the cooler before it slipped and crushed the poor woman. The guy was masked, but his eyes were so blue and, judging by the way the corners creased, he must have had a hell of a smile.
βNice catch,β the guy said as they navigated the cooler to safety. His voice was higher pitched than Buck was expecting for a guy that size, but it was, and there was no other word for it, melodious.
βYou must be the Raviβs weird coworkers,β she said. βGrab that and follow me.β
The guyβs eyebrows raised, but he obligingly picked up one end of the cooler and Buck took the other, and they followed the woman, who was named Skye and the co-founder of her collegeβs frisbee gold club. That was how she knew Ravi; they were old friends.
βRavi, I found your weird work friends,β she called as they joined Ravi and the rest of the group at the course they were setting up.
βMost people are impressed by us being firefighters,β the guy said mildly.
Skye snorted. βTell you what, kid, save a cat from a tree and I will personally throw you a parade.β
βItβs been a long time since I was called kid,β the guy mused, and Buck was treated to those laugh lines again. They were so deep; this guy must smile a lot. βIβm Tommy.β
βBuck. Buckley. I mean, Evan,β Buck said because apparently he lost control of his mouth. God, he wished he could see that smile. βEvan Buckley.β
βGood to meet you, Evan,β Tommy said.
βGlad you made it,β Ravi said. βWeβre about to break into teams. Full warning, Skye gets physical.β
βYeah, I do,β said Skye, and high fived another woman.
βI didnβt think this was a contact sport,β Buck said, who had spent last night reading the frisbee golf Wikipedia article and watching a couple of video of people trying to toss little discs into various baskets.
βNot the way we play it,β said Skye with a wolfish smile. βAre you ready?β
3. Buck was not, in fact, ready. The third time Skye laid him out, Buck just stayed and contemplated his mortality.
βStill alive down there?β Tommy asked, hands braced on his knees as he leaned over Buck.
βUnfortunately,β Buck said. βDo you think if I play dead theyβll forget Iβm here?β
Tommy glanced at where a scrimmage was taking place further down the course. βI think itβs wrapping up. I heard a rumor that cooler we carried was full of snacks. Come on.β
Tommy offered a hand, and Buck was effortlessly pulled to his feet. βOh,β he said, breathless. βIβm, uh, not used to people being able to lift me.β
βBenefits of being a big, strong firefighter,β Tommy said with those gorgeous laugh lines.
βYeah, strong,β Buck agreed over the mad scramble happening at the last basket. It was either luck or skill that kept anyone from losing a mask. βThis is not regulation play.β
βYeah, itβs very Calvinball.β Tommy slid him a sly look. βI bet we can raid the cooler while theyβre distracted.β
Buck was too old to get caught in the violent tangle of limbs that was happening. βLetβs do it.β
4. An incomplete list of things Buck learned about Tommy as they waited for the frisbee golf game to end:
Tommy was not just a firefighter but a firefighter pilot, which was one of the coolest jobs it was possible to have. (βThatβs gotta be like having a super power,β he said way too earnest to be cool, but Tommy just smiled so wide that his nose scrunched and said, βA little bit, yeah.)
Tommy was Harborβs sacrificial goat who got sent to the academy as a guest instructor (βI lost the final round of rock, paper, scissors,β he said in that dry tone that Buck suspected he used when he wanted to hide the truth as a joke.)
Tommy used to be at the 118 and had the best stories from Chim and Henβs probie years (Tommy called him Howie, which was weirdly endearing)
Tommy learned to fly in the army (βThe PTSD was almost worth it.β)
Tommy knew Muay Thai but had not joined an underground fight club because he was only slightly more well adjusted than Eddie
Tommy had the most beautiful smile Buck had ever seen
βSo this is adorable,β Skye said, gesturing between them, βbut if you donβt stop bogarting the snacks, I will take you both down.β
Tommy stepped aside and made a dorky little half-bow so Skye could get into the cooler. Apparently everyone contributed to the snack fund but Skye was the one who actually went out and bought everything because she had black market hook ups for the good chips and dip.
Once everyone had raided the cooler and they had all spaced out six feet so they could take off their masks to eat and drink, Ravi raised his can of flavored seltzer and said, βAnd now itβs time for the traditional poetry reading. Kay has chosen this weekβs selection.
Kay, who had an undercut and a septum piercing, said, βYou know I had to go with my girl Mary Oliver. You know it, you love it, itβs Wild Geese!β
Everyone cheered, and Buck found himself exchanging a bewildered look with Tommy and Tommyβs politely baffled eyebrows.
From their back pocket, Kay pulled out a phone and began to read. It was a short poem, but it filled him with a sweet ache, like the relief he felt when a wound had been sutured closed. Tommyβs face had softened with each line, and by the end he looked just like how Buck felt, like pain had given way to ease. And then it was over, and Buck wished heβd though to fix his mask back into place so he could have stood shoulder to shoulder with Tommy as they experienced the poem together.
βSo,β Ravi said once they were once again masked up and reformed into a loose circle, βwhat did you think?β
βI wasnβt expecting to be tackled so much,β Tommy said dryly, smile once more hidden away, βbut it was fun.β
βYeah, fun,β Buck said. βHey, whatβs up with the poetry?β
What was up with the poetry was that Raviβs college roommate was an extremely shy kid named Joshua who Ravi managed to, in the words of Skye, cajole into joining their frisbee golf club using sweet words and a muffin. Joshua hated frisbee golf, but he liked poetry and old books, and so would sit on the sidelines reading to them between plays. And soon everyone had their favorite poets and poems and started bringing them to share with Joshua until it became a tradition after every game for one member to read a new poem they found.
βHe had to move back home when his dad got sick,β said Chad, who looked exactly like one of Buckβs roommates from back in the day who would howl without fail at three am every day but was in fact pursuing a masters in gender studies. βBut we kept up the tradition, and we either facetime with him or send him the poem.β
βOh, thatβs really cool,β Buck said, who never had the kinds of friends who would do that. He didnβt even keep in touch with Connor, who heβd followed to LA like a lost puppy.
βIt is,β said Beth, who was only slightly less violent than Skye, which was good since she was close to him and Tommy in height, βuntil Skye breaks up with her girlfriend of two years and does nothing but read Richard Siken poems for two straight months.β
Tommy winced, and Sky pointed an accusing finger at him and said, βI knew it! I knew you were one of us!β
Tommyβs eyebrows rose in a way that Buck could only describe as bitchy. βKid, I was in the army under Donβt Ask Donβt Tell. Youβre one of me.β
βWait, what does Donβt Ask Donβt Tell have to do with poetry?β Buck said two seconds before his brain caught up. βOh, youβreββ
βGay,β Tommy said, and now those bitchy eyebrows were trained fully on him.
βThatβs cool! I mean, Iβm an ally.β From outside his body, Buck watched as his raised his fist in the air in encouragement and wanted to die. But instead of death, he opened his mouth and said, βI put up a rainbow on my Instagram profile every June.β
Into the terrible silence that followed, Skye said, βSo do you have a reminder about a flag programmed into your phone?β
βNo,β he said quickly.
βOh, he definitely does,β Chad said. βThatβs adorable. Ravi, thank you for inviting him. Heβs going into my thesis.β
Tommy leaned in close and said, βI think that means he likes you,β which almost made the mortification worth it.
Thank god a bunch of moms chased them to clean up and clear out so that their kids could kick around a soccer ball. He and Tommy carried the cooler back to Skyeβs Subaru.
βYou need to contribute to the snack fund,β Sky said, holding out a hand. βI only accept cash.β
Who carried cash anymore? Tommy apparently, and he handed over two crisp twenties. βYou can get it next time,β he said, and gently knocked his knuckles into Buckβs shoulder.
βIβm adding you to the group chat,β Ravi said, and Buck was officially part of frisbee golf.
6. By the third meet up, Buck had given up on understanding the ever shifting rules and instead spent most of his time on the fringes talking to Tommy. They had started getting take out after the game and eating on Tommyβs back patio and then, because they were both fully vaccinated and careful, moving inside to watch the movies Tommy insisted he had to see.
βDo you miss going out to the movies?β Buck asked one day, perusing the two bookcases dedicated to DVDs and CDs.
βI donβt miss strangers breathing on me in the dark for two hours,β Tommy said dryly, βbut, yeah, I miss it.β
βWe should go when itβs safe.β Buck brushed his knuckles along Tommyβs shoulder. βIβll buy you Twizzlers.β
The first time Tommy came to the loft, Buck was mortifingly aware of how empty it was, especially compared to Tommyβs carefully curated house. He didnβt have a single shelf of movies or even books. The only personal touch was the bike hanging on the wall, and it had been years since heβd been cycling. Thank god Albert never cleaned up against himself; his mess was the only sign of life in the entire place.
βI get the appeal now,β Tommy said, gesturing to the two balconies. βThatβs almost gotta be worth what youβre getting gouged on rent.β
βSpent a lot of nights out here when I canβt sleep,β he said, and they ate lunch out on the balcony and listened to the city.
But mostly they snuck away when Buckβs leg and Tommyβs knee started acting up after too many tackles. They were deep in a discussion of which weird 80s fantasy movie to see nextβTommy was adamant that Buck needed to experience Tim Curry as the shirtless devil, and Buck wanted to see Labrinyth since he had remembered seeing that with Maddie and loving all the puppedβwhen Skye said, βThis is why we donβt let you be on the same team.β She had evidently clawed her way free from a pile up that, as first responders, he and Tommy should really break up. βAt least weβre both equally down a player.β
Tommy pointed to Buckβs leg and then his own knee. βThereβs no way our old man joints would survive that.β
βArenβt you firefighters?β she asked.
βIβve seen the elbows you throw in there,β Tommy said. βOur job is less dangerous.β
βHa!β Skye said, and then immediately proved Tommyβs point by trying to take down Ravi.
Chad gestured between them. βWhatever is happening between you two is adorable, and I want an invite to the wedding.β
Where Buck had been expecting Tommyβs to do their bitchy thing, Tommyβs expression instead smoothed out so quickly and completely that it felt like a flinch, like Chad had inadvertently pressed on a tender bruise.
βI donβt think he was trying to be an asshole,β Buck said once Chad had been dragged back into the pile.
βItβs fine,β Tommy said in a tone that meant it was absolutely not fine. βI forget sometimes thatβs an option for me. It wasnβt for a long time.β
Buck thought of Abby and Ali and the dating apps he hadnβt opened in months, and said, βYeah, I get that.β He touched the back of Tommyβs hand. βWant to raid the cooler while theyβre distracted?β
They had snacks and made an effort to talk to people who werenβt each other, and then it was time for the ceremonial poetry reading.
Tommy stepped forward and carefully pulled out a piece of paper that had gone soft along the creases, like Tommy had folded it and unfolded it many times. Tommy cleared his throat and, a little shy, said, βThis is called the undone cowboy writes to his sweetheart.β
And Tommy began to read.
7. These were the poems Buck had heard since joining the group: an ee cummings poem he remembered reading in high school; Frank OβHara writing about New York; Sky choosing a poem about Jesus in a gay bar that had made him and Tommy tear up; a poem about the women in Stop & Shop.
He had liked all of them, but none of them had been read in Tommyβs soft, careful voice, and none of them had felt like they were spreading his ribs apart to let in the sun. God, he thought as Tommy read the last line, god just take my heart in your palm.
βI knew you were one of us,β Skye said, and tapped friendly knuckles to his shoulder.
8. The shift had been quiet enough that Buck was able to sneak away and grab the good bunk in the corner with the mattress that didnβt sag and replayed the poem in his head: could you lasso my legs, darling, and press me tender to hay bale?
Buck had spent the better part of a year working on a ranch. Hay was a lot less romantic and a lot more irritating than people thought. It pricked and itched, even through a carefully laid blanket, and Buck had no desire to have it anywhere near his dick and balls again.
And yet he placed his palm against his sternum and thought of leaning against a bale. The hay would try to scratch through his clothes but he wouldnβt notice it, not with how close Tommy would be standing. They were the same height and near the same size, although Tommy had more breadth across the shoulders and carried more muscle. Tommy was immovable when he wanted to be, and Buck had felt the heat of him when they collided on the field.
He pressed down on his own breastbone. It wouldnβt be hard for Tommy to move him. Itβd be so easy; Buck would go without a fight. God, he would have to spread his legs so wide to let Tommy get in close, and Tommy would kiss as sweetly as he read the poem.
βOh,β Buck said, ribs cracked open and his sternum filled with sunlight, βIβm one of them.β
8. Buck was a firefighter and there was a time for evaluation and there was a time for action, and so he showed up to Tommyβs house and said, βAre you the undone cowboy? Can I be your sweetheart? I, uh, also brought lunch. Hi.β
βHi,β Tommy said, and he was laughing but not at Buck. βYou want to come in, sweetheart?β
βYeah, I really do,β Buck said.
9. Tommy kissed sweeter than the poem.
Buck sliced him an apple.
10. βIβve got a poem,β Buck said, fumbling his phone out of his pocket. It wasnβt his frisbee gold reading, but this one was important. He wanted to get it right. βItβs from our girl Mary Oliver.β
βYo Mary Oliver!β Kay shouted.
"It's I Did Think, Let's Go About This Slowly." He cleared his throat and began to read, and on the line, the important one, he met Tommyβs eyes and said, unafraid and full of joy, ββBut, bless us, we didn't.β
Tommyβs smile was still the most beautiful think Buck had ever seen.
11. They invited the entire frisbee golf club to the wedding.
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The biggest problem I have with "support black indie creators" is that people only really ever bring up black indie creators when a non-black (dare a say often white) indie creator gets exposed or called out for racism, and I hate to break it to you guys, but that is actually not a good thing.
Anti-blackness in the indie scene is a serious issue and we should always call it out even if it seems like a "nothing-burger," but at the same time you should always uplift and support black indie creators regardless. Solely bringing them up when some popular indie creator gets called out for racism will only lead them to being forgotten when the controversy dims down and everyone moves on to something else.
Please support black creators all year round and not just occasionally.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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