The Fabulous Grudge

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

Hook line and fucking sinker 😂

Reading Calvin and Hobbes as an adult is a VERY different experience than reading it as a kid.

FFS, I guess I'm going to have to download Paradise Killer so I can screenshot the "We have enough pyramids" line because I cannot find it now.

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.

None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.

Remember how far you have come to get to who you are today. You have changed one million times, weathered countless storms, been inspired by love and kindness over and over. You are imperfect and you are growing. You deserve to be proud of yourself.