So many fandoms, so little time

y'all if any of you have issues with heat sores from bed (or just being overheated in general, I'm in chronic pain groups so I like to clearly specify it's helpful for people who are bedbound/have limited or restricted movement, especially due to heat sensitivity in the summer) Aldi's FINALLY HAS THE COOLING PADS AGAIN!!!! they're fantastic for slapping on your mattress, don't leak and don't need to be pre-frozen, and the cooling lasts a good 6-8 hrs and refreshes itself over the next couple of hours. I get 2 or 3 and rotate them through the night/whenever I'm stuck in bed for the day, by the time one states getting hot the other one is ready to go. and since it's meant for dog claws it's not gonna pop on you because you scratched it with a hangnail or whatever. (also you can wipe it with a wet towel to clean it if need-be). they're FIFTEEN USD and they last for several months of daily usage (mine eventually died about a year later, but unfortunately they didn't sell them last year and it was Pure Hell™ 🥲)

From: [email protected]

Subject: Phylactery maintenance

Hey boss,

In the handbook it says standard procedure is “Phylactery upkeep is to be done Bi-Monthly, no more no less” but the other cronies and I are conflicted if that mean twice a month or once every two months? We wanna make sure our surplus of young souls and blood sacrifices is in proper stock so seeing if we gotta quadruple or quarter our spending will really make or break the whole “Eternal Life” operation we got going here.

Also side note: should I message IT about how every time the word Phylactery is typed out in the system it automatically turns green? Or is that by design?

In mournful servitude,

Henchmen 2883 (Frank)

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Vexed Me For The Last Time

you’re supposed to do it once a month, bisexually. how many times have you been doing it??

- EW

"in the age of no body shaming, there is still one thing you're allowed to body shame apparently, and that is men with small dicks. Greta Thunberg was arguing on Twitter with a guy called Andrew Tate, who is on house arrest in Romania, for sex trafficking. Do you know what she said? 'you have small dick energy'. She could have said 'Andrew, you're on house arrest, in Romania, for sex trafficking' but apparently on the list of crimes that rates below having a small dick."