Baroness Von Chickenstein

Bro videos are always 🔥 💯.. instant collaborations

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

if you just want your effete dilettante twink to have an emotionally distant servant who brings him tea after fucking him then the term you are looking for is VALET

if the setting is military and you want to really fuck with the A03 tags then the term is BATMAN

sorry can you repeat that, i got as far as "effete dilettante" and got so bricked up i was walking like a cowboy for 45 minutes

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

...ok but what if the shift manager is actually right

you are a minor so i will say this with absolute confidence as an adult: there is not a single time on the history of this planet that a shift manager has ever been right. and more seriously, in this metaphor: treating yourself like shit for not being productive doesn't actually make you more productive. it makes you treat yourself like shit.

☝️ Humans are apex predators and biologically and mentally built to spend the majority of our time resting and engaging in enrichment, spending most of our time working and being productive is a biologically abusive lifestyle being forced into us by people who want more money for themselves while we are literally not built to handle such hours of work

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

I was talking about this with a friend but a really interesting cultural shift over the last ohhhhhh ten years maybe is that many people in fandoms view themselves as stakeholders and not audience members. Because of that, they think that the fandom should be running things, or at least have an acknowledged say in how something is run. And every reminder that they are not in control, no matter how small, bothers them.