Just Whatever

When Luo Binghe spots Shen Qingqiu in Jin Lang city he’s absolutely shocked to discover a mere 2 or 3 (how much was it) years left on Shizun’s counter. What had happened in the time he was gone? Did without a cure get worse? Was it something else?

Worried to pieces he hurries over to his master. Except once said master lays eyes upon him—while outwardly calm—his counter starts to glitch showing only minutes left, then seconds, then months, zero, seconds again and so on.

Don’t they know that murder is illegal? You just know there are a bunch of homicidal maniacs out there who love to read those stories. They write them, too, in between killing people. 

Imagine him doting on Gongyi, at first because he feels bad for him, being destined to be overshadowed, replaced, and unceremoniously tossed offstage by binghe in the future

But then he does actually grow attached to him. Gongyi is so sincere, he admires his kind shizun and looks at him as if he hung the moon. He's a righteous and upstanding young man. And Shen Yuan adores him.

Now imagine the immortal alliance conference. Imagine the Binghe who was mistreated by the original Shen Qingqiu catching a glimpse of Gongyi Xiao and his doting teacher and he sees a life he was never meant to have.

Maybe he just sees them for a moment before the event, Shen Yuan giving his head disciple a little pep talk before hand. Letting Gongyi Xiao know that he's already proud of him, no matter how he preforms, but he knows Gongyi will excell regardless. (He doesn't want him to feel too discouraged when binghe outperforms him.)

Or Binghe happens to witness Shen Yuan rushing to Gongyi Xiao's aid once things have taken a turn for the worse. He sees Shen Yuan check Gongyi over for injuries, his brow creased in concern.

And when Binghe is pushed into the abyss by Shen Qingqiu that's what his mind goes back to. The huan hua disciple and his kind shizun. Why couldn't he have that? Why did he have to be treated the way he was? Why why why

And the thoughts persist through his time in the abyss.

He makes Shen Yuan’s order one day, and Shen Yuan mentions to Xiang Fei that the coffee is especially good today, and Xiang Fei says, “duh, gay people are objectively better at making coffee.” Which Shen Yuan thinks is bigoted bullshit, obviously. Clearly the barista was straight! So he marches right up to the counter and asks Binghe “You’re straight, right?”

A) You meet just the worst man you've ever met and it's hate at first sight, and then you meet his identical twin who's the nicest, sweetest, prettiest man you've ever met.

B) You meet the nicest, sweetest, prettiest man you've ever met and then he has an evil twin who hates your guts.

Shen Qingqiu took another sip of his tea, "If you can't handle the truth that's your problem. Not my fault you fell for a mean girl gym rat."

"He's totally a himbo!" Shang Qinghua protested.

Shen Qingqiu shook his head, "Mobei Jun is definitely not pure of heart enough to be a himbo."

"He is!"

"Your inability to look beyond his massive pecs is pathetic." Shen Qingqiu scoffed. "As is your obsession with people being himbos."

"Binghe isn't a himbo either." Shang Qinghua snapped.

"Of course not! Binghe's too smart!" Shen Qingqiu replied immediately. "I'm offended you'd even suggest he is one!"

Before the argument could continue there was a loud crash from outside.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua looked out the nearest window. Liu Qingge was on the lawn nearby, wrestling with a One Horned Demon Ox Elephant.

Shang Qinghua sighed. "I told the beast Peak their paddocks weren't strong enough to hold that thing when they ordered it."

The One Horned Demon Ox Elephant flung Liu Qingge off and into a nearby gazebo.

"Ugh repairs are going to be a nightmare." Shang Qinghua said.

"Shidi!" Shen Qingqiu called to Liu Qingge. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Liu Qingge replied immediately. "Stay inside!"

"Hey." Shang Qinghua said. When Shen Qingqiu didn't reply he poked the other man and repeated. "Hey."

"What?"

"What about Liu-shidi?"

"What about him?"

"Looks like a himbo to me," Shang Qinghua said.

"... he's not muscly enough." Shen Qingqiu protested weakly.

"The requirements are strong of body, pure of heart, dumb of ass. Nothing in there about muscle size." Shang Qinghua countered. "He definitely fits."

"He's not..." Shen Qingqiu started to say but he trailed off apparently unwilling to say out loud that Liu Qingge wasn't dumb.

Shang Qinghua had moved on to the rest of the Peak Lords. "I think Wei Qingwei qualifies too- though I could see an argument that he's too smart... Yue Qingyuan? No-"

"Zhangmen-shixiong is absolutely a himbo." Shen Qingqiu countered immediately, with absolute certainty.

"He's too smart-"

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-